Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2075 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Son That Went Missing

J: u guys this is effed can u explain it to me? are we related?
D: ...
E: ...
S: ...dammit now i have a migraine

Lily: ok r we done?
R: SO DONE
L: thank god
R: Wait, no. psych! false alarm im still not done with this
L: what now r we going to kidnap a grown man?
R: yes! with a letter! We kidnap his heart by writing his parents a letter

L: what coud we possibly say in aletter that we havent already said a billion times in every other medium to the point of harassment?
R: heart things!
L: this is stupid
R: u would say that because you are selfish and hate our baby Pilot Inspektor! Thats why you have bene indulging me for fifty episodes!
L: r u 4 real bitch

"You don't think I haven't thought about this boy every day of his life?" Lily finally, finally stops babying him and schools him on exactly how little ground he's got to stand on in this situation. Which frankly she should have done in Manhattan, and then pushed his ass down some stairs, but better late than never: "You want to meet him. Have you thought about what happens after that? What if we find out he's had a horrible life? Or what if we instantly love him, and then it's very clear that we've made a terrible mistake?" What if our son went missing and we didn't even know it?

R: My only fear is feeling like we failed to try everything.
L: BITCH WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.
R: but what if
L: ok but can we try these imaginary ways from NYC
R: no we have to stay in this hotel room forever and never leave!
L: but why
R: IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
L: um, yeah?

"Yes it is, because this whole search has been so excruciating, I don't want to go through it anymore. I don't want to spend another day, another minute, trapped in this hotel room, scared that you're gonna hate me forever, when I'm ... Still in love with you." YES! She can work his shit like nobody in this world. It's so soap opera, like there's a camera push toward her when she says it, and that is exactly how you tame the wild Rufus, because melodrama is the only fucking language he speaks. Like when he kept secretly hoping that Jenny would get run over the whole time she was pursuing her dream, and finally Dan had to be like, "You stand between your daughter... AND DARKNESS" and then he finally got it. Right about the time Agnes was setting her entire life on fire, but still. So now he just grabs her and kisses her and says her name a thousand times.

Gossip Girl

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