So Chuck comes running out into the foyer, and B has to do the old, "I was just standing incredibly near this door for no reason! Hi! Hi there! Leaning on an imaginary wall! Scratching underneath my headband lackadaisically! Trying to think of the capital of Norway, do you know it?"

J: this is bart's final words
C: so lol
J: so they are words about money !!1! hello
C: so lol
J: money

B: your dad? im yr wife so read it so i can hold ur hand bcaus im your wife
N: so read it so i can hold ur hand bcaus im your wife
N: !!!! lol jinx buy me a coke with all ur money lol

C: I alredy know wtf tho.. "You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?"
J: lol he would too
J: wait im wearing purple

B: give it to me I will read it 2u
C: no wtf
B: too slow !! lol I am good at grabbin & snatching

Dear Son. I know I've always been hard on you... ("True.") But my goal was always to prepare you for this day, to help you go from being a boy to a man. ("The Italian au pair took care of that!" We get it, you were molested. Everybody on this show was molested, it doesn't give you a free pass. I don't see Georgina running around raping people every five seconds.) Sadly, there is nothing like the passing of a father to aid in this rite of passage for his son. (Angle, of course, on Nate, who knows this better than anyone; the Captain's died a thousand deaths, like any other coward.) Ultimately, I do feel that I did my job, and you're prepared for this next chapter of your life. Therefore, I'm bequeathing to you the majority share of Bass Industries.

N: no way bro
C: we are being punkd
J: i just shit myself
J: i wish ur dad didnt die so i could kill his ass more
B: Jack be cool
C: no i get it plus fuck him so jack can have the company and everything
J: YES don't tease me bro
B: this is repulsive because yr birthright even and like such as

N: lets go cudle somewhere and feel things
J: hey N heres a confusing wink and kissyface like i fucked u on NYE xoxo
N: like who didn't lol