Walking to school, Eric's bitching about how Jenny is quickly installing herself as the third wheel, because the only thing fifteen-year-old girls find more fascinating than gay boys does not exist. They're to the tween years what horses are to pre-teens, and just like some girls never get over horses and it ruins their love lives... So too with gay boys.

Serena sympathetically points out that Jenny could not be more outcasty and Otherized if she were actually from another planet. She's from Brooklyn and a Humphrey, that's two strikes right there, and then she willingly allows Vanessa Abrams into her immediate zip code, which is dumb as shit; she is this weird enfant terrible infamous fashion designer dropout who failed so spectacularly that she's down to wearing pink tulle under her school uniform; her prevailing cosmetics philosophy seems to be "Coal Miner's Daughter" mixed with "Domestic Violence Chic"; and her haircut is mind-blowingly retarded. It's either force her way into the one (openly) gay relationship at their school and turn these demerits into edgy artsy notoriety, or make friends with a lunch lady.

Eric's voting lunch lady at this point. He's tried to do dinner with Jonathan three times, and every time she showed up, and Serena pleads for sympathy and a grace period to find her social footing again. "But doesn't she understand the whole point of having a boyfriend is to be alone?" Eric asks, and Serena's like, "You have much to learn, Padawan, because most guys don't figure that one out for a long time." And even then it means, "Just you, me and the Wii equals a date. Basically, I'm inviting you on the date I'm already going on with Lego Star Wars." But wait wait, Lego Star Wars combines the most annoying things about both Legos and Star Wars. "You obviously don't understand the canon. See, it all starts on a little planet called Tatooine..."

Eric tosses some of that old-fashioned bullshitty empathy back in her face, pointing out that Dan has issues they actually know about, whereas Jenny is just a roving freak. Serena's like, "Our assumption that his newfound weirdness arises from this show's very confused understanding of what incest actually means or how DNA works is not an issue, because our parents are not hooking up." They tell each other to be nice to their respective Humphreys, no matter how hard it is -- and it is fucking hard sometimes, you guys -- and Eric walks up to Jonathan and Jenny, who have settled on an Edith Head film festival. E stares, horrible, as Jonathan giggles: "She says Edith Head, I say Hitchcock. Same difference." OMG that is very real and relates painfully to my own high school experience, but not as much as Jenny raising her voice to that octave girls save for gay boys and squealing: "Oh, wait. Oh my gosh, oh, did you guys know that you have matching backpacks? That's so cute! Awww!"