Gossip Girl
Gone With The Will

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Son That Went Missing

J: did you talk to grandpa S?
D: no bcause shes being nuts -- did u know shes not even mad about me lying? she said she understood it because i was keeping a promise
J: makes sense
D: WOMEN! i dont get it
J: whatever lets play boggle or watch showgirls
D: i already watched showgirls so lets play boggle
J: that actually sounds fun
D: of all the humphreys in the world we are the motherfuckin humphriest
J: and we dont even know it
S: knock knock dumbo family its me and Eric ok! lol
J: grandpa Serena!

D: ...so i kept lying and lying and it was so sad!
S: i know? i was there?
D: it was a secret! I was sad!
S: fine, what was your problem
D: i want to still be your boyfriend, grandpa!
S: ok thats what i was thinking too

S: "...There's gotta be some kind of precedent for this, right?"
D: "Yeah! ...In literature! Toni Morrison maybe? Flannery O'Connor! The Russian aristocrats, before they all became hemophiliacs..."
S: Also Clueless, you pointless dork.

D: Um, that movie is a retelling of Emma, utilizing classic romantic tropes from a wide variety of some of the most respected literature in the American language, but placing them in the context of a contemporary post-feminist sensibility. It's ruined by its own accessibility and frothy enjoyable jouissance, no matter how dense and layered the writing actually is.
S: Are you just saying that because culturally we tend to undervalue the experience of and concerns of women and children, and because Clueless represents an idealized version of a young teenage girl's life, is therefore automatically worth disregarding? Without regard to the story's quality? Or even the pedagogical effects of showing the characters' growth through their experiences in a world not unlike that surrounding the intended audience and the ways, both positive and negative, that these characters respond to these common concerns?

D: Common concerns? They fight about boyfriends and clothes! And shoes!
S: What are you wearing right now?
D: Nothing special.
S: True enough. So you're saying that because they are not your concerns, they aren't valid? Without boyfriends and clothes and shoes, the human race stops procreating. Women's sexuality is the most highly regulated commodity in the universe, and 90% of societal ills for the entire history of the human race has been about controlling it. How on earth would a story focusing on the first major period of a girl's sexual development possibly be relevant?
D: Well, the characters are all affluent and that means that their thoughts and emotions don't signify.
S: Are you really willing to posit that there is an entire class of people for whom emotional life is beyond reach?
D: No, just teenage girls with money.

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Gossip Girl

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