Lily greets Dan and Jenny warmly, and Serena asks Jenny what she's even doing there. "Oh, she loves these things, apparently," says Dan, and it's like, read the room: everybody here loves these things, apparently, which is why they're here. Lily grins and says she wishes Serena were down with it, because it would make things easier for her. Anything that makes life easier for Lily, I am down with. Especially if it effs with the effer of Dan's obsession with class warfare. "My grandma was the chairwoman for this event for fifteen years," explains Serena, "and now the committee's asked my mom to join." And after ten years of obsessing about it, Serena has suddenly dropped the whole concept. Little J stares past them, for all appearances in the throes of a petit mal seizure, and Lily's like, "Jenny? Jenny. Jenny!" She finally pulls her eyes away from the luxurious beauty of neon leg warmers and navy sport coats long enough for Lily to suggest that she volunteer. "Well, Blair's lead deb, and we're sort of on the outs. You know, I'm sure if she wanted my help, she would've asked." Lily asks in her stead, a risky proposition, but Lily's just so sweet, and Jenny's smile is so gigantic. She giggles and runs off to talk to the parents about it, but her smile falls when Lily corrects her: the ball isn't Saturday, it's Sunday. Which from Jenny's face is plainly a conflict, but it's Jenny: you know she's going to do whatever is half-assed and social-climby so she can get some kind of Humphrey talking-to about personal integrity and puppies and the farmer's market.

Lily sweetly says goodbye to Jenny as her mother Cece arrives, descending on Serena like a kindly old vulture. She's totally Spike's mom! Dude, for real. She calls Serena her "magnificent granddaughter," and Serena shoots Jenny-type smiles all over the place, and Lily's like, "What up? I'm out," and bounces. Cece immediately tosses out some kind of Funny Old Drunk line about how she can't find the bar and should have brought booze herself, and they laugh politely even though it's, like, early afternoon and she's being creepy. Dan introduces himself, and Cece narrows in on him: "My granddaughter told me that you were delighted when she decided not to make her debut this weekend?" Which is kind of a wide blow to start with. Serena assures him that he can go ahead and say exactly what he thinks, because "Grandma loves honesty." Which goes along with her whole "let's all find the booze" vibe, but mostly: do not ever, ever believe anybody when they say this. The best reason to shut up in the world is if somebody tells you to just be honest. Especially to a scary old person like this. You are asking for trouble. The second Serena said that, my skin got cold, because, firstly, don't do it, and secondly: you fucking know Dan is thinking, like, "Now here is my chance to express myself!"