Gossip Girl
Hi, Society!

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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How Could You Use Our Poor Nate So?

James Dean always said that Iago was in love with Othello, so there's your interesting fact for the week. I think Chuck would agree. He follows up the GG.net hanky with a Between-You-And-Me heart-to-heart about how Blair's secretly dating Carter. "He's got everyone fooled, Blair thinks he's reformed... He's obviously just toying with her to get at you!" Which makes...not a lick of sense, but this is Othello, so just go with it. "We just need to wait until we can get him in a public place, where everyone who thinks he's changed can see the truth, and we can get him back for everything he's done to you, and everything he's...doing to Blair." If you know what Chuck means, and I think that you do. They're standing in the courtyard somewhere, probably the Palace, and so of course right then Carter shows up, and Chuck's like, "Well, fuck. Now I have to go through with it." Which is awesome, because it's Dan dropping out again that made Carter show up here, which means everything that happens affects everything else in a really cool way. Like, this was all a story Chuck was telling Nate to get the heat off himself, just some gossip and rumor that the principals wouldn't think twice about, because they would know it's not true. Only because Cece pissed Dan off, then pissed Rufus off, which caused Dan to go to Serena, which caused Serena to dump him for Carter, the whole thing is now very real, and Chuck's fulfilling Blair's prophecy that he ruins everything by ruining cotillion. So neat!

Some poor thing is working on B's dress, and being told in a hissing grin, "If you don't pull it together, I'm gonna go Naomi Campbell on you." Serena wonders if Jenny -- master seamstress that she is -- might help, but Blair's still pissed at her for...I don't even remember. Oh, telling her about the kissing at Masquerade. "You're dismissed." I remember now. Jenny approaches timidly, asking Serena for a pronunciation on her presentation statement. Which we'll be hearing both versions of in a second, so like, what's the word she can't read? "Conservancy"? "Van der Woodsen"? Whatever. Serena's like, "This statement is lies! I do not hope to continue to live on the Upper East Side, I will not devote my life to volunteering for the Nature Conservancy and Junior League, and I refuse to have two wonderful children!" Blair laughs her ass off about how it's like identical to hers, and S tells Jenny that Dan's not coming again, as Carter makes unknown changes to the statement. I think that he is an effer on a grand scale and that he is effing with powers beyond his control. Of course, this is the same girl who was outed for a nonexistent drug problem in front of the entire Ivy League and managed to skate by with zero ill effects, so I'm not sure why I would be worried.

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Gossip Girl

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