Nate's like, "How come Carter's even here?" and Chuck gets a little Jennyish in the lying department: "Oh, um, he's using Serena as a cover! His plans are like Byzantine!" Nate steps up on Carter big-time and Carter tries to apologize for that time he tried to get Nate whacked in Queens -- and not in the good way -- but Nate's all, "I'm a tough little man in an angry little tuxedo, and I am going to stand right here next to you being so mad!" Carter is such an effer that he starts flirting with Nate, because -- not in a gay way, just in an "Oh, this is intriguing, with the little upset man shaking next to me for no reason" way -- because he has no idea what Nate is talking about, because the whole thing is made up in Chuck's head, so he takes it as it comes, all, "Oh yeah, cutie? You're 'onto me'?" I have to say, that reaction to Nate's little teapot tempest has really upped my read on that particular effer. If something as delicate and lovely and strange as a Nate Archibald got all muscly with me about mysterious made-up shit, I daresay I'd do the same thing: "Oh yeah? That's...awesome, little guy. Tell me all about it, but you know what, don't hurt yourself."
Katya Farkas, daughter of Jonathan and Rose Farkas -- surely those are the most Asian names I've ever heard -- is escorted by Richard North. Who is adorable. Kati "hopes to major in neuroscience," remember, "and will continue her family's legacy as supporters of the New York Public Library and Lincoln Center." Blair Cornelia Waldorf -- rocking a giant-ass bow as usual, this time on her shoulder, the exact size and shape of her own head -- daughter of Harold and Eleanor Waldorf, is escorted by Nathaniel Archibald. "She plans to be a member of Yale's class of 2013. She will continue to summer in Southampton, and volunteer her time to children's charities." Well, children's charities and gun-running. I don't know why; I just see her becoming an arms dealer at some point.
"And now I'd like to present Serena Celia van der Woodsen, daughter of committee member Lilian van der Woodsen, granddaughter of Chairwoman Emeritus Celia Catherine Rhodes, escorted by Carter Baizen. Miss van der Woodsen hopes to bed as many billionaires as she can, before settling down to..." I love that her laugh here is just joyful. Serena loves train wrecks too. Lily is kind of weirded out, like it doesn't feel as good as she wants it to, and Cece has a total breakdown in the face area. "Miss Isabel Coates, uh, presented by Raymond North, daughter of Arthur and Iris Coates..." Raymond North, also adorable. You know, Kati and Iz, everybody feels so bad for them being the Minoriteens and wearing their little outfits, but on the other hand, how great to date twins and whatever. It's like the thing that keeps Blair and Serena from being Kati and Iz is the same stuff that keeps them from being happy. So Kati and Iz, on this level, are actually better at life than either B or S, because you know they'll do exactly what it says on their presentation statements, whereas B and S couldn't have normal lives if they tried. There's a benefit to being vague and passive, is all I'm saying. Just remember what deals you're prepared to make.