Barry Watson: "You sure call me a lot, woman. I was given to understand that people of your generation preferred texting to voice calls."
Serena: "I was just wondering if we were exclusively dating each other or what."
Barry Watson: "Remember how you lived in my Poughkeepsie mansion for four months under an assumed name and eventually were the Maid of Honor at my gay wedding? In upstate New York it doesn't get more intimate than that."
Serena: "Are you sure? Because I got my wolves on speed-dial, sunshine."
Nate: "Remind me again why you're here, and also if we're friends right now."
Dan: "Yes, and also I'm here to talk to you about that book I already wrote, that I'm writing again."
Nate: "Would you like me to publish it?"
Dan: "Oh cool, do you publish books?"
Nate: "It's as likely as anything else, I'll put it that way."
Blair: "Minions, report!"
Minions: "You have the same clothing line as Poppy, like, even down to the fabrics and lines."
Blair: "Either this show is pretty crappy and contrived, or this is a sibylline coincidence that will lead me to unravel my own doom, as in the myths and legends of yore."
Minions: "Or both!"
Blair: "Then lead on, MacDuff. Let's destroy those dresses of Poppy Lifton, like would happen in real life."
CHARLES & LILY
Lily: "Charles! I can't believe you brought your girlfriend that slept with my husband to brunch!"
Chuck: "Not one portion of that is true, but please don't involve yourself. Isn't it enough that I'm not aiming for you? And that your husband totally stole the company from me that you and I spent years fighting for?"
Lily: "I will still find a way to make this all about me!"
Chuck: "I don't know what to say except I'm really sorry any of this got on you. Or I would be, if that were actually what was happening. Take a pill or something."
Amira: "Hey, what's up?"
Chuck: "Wait, so you did sleep with Bart in Dubai?"
Amira: "Oh boy."
Chuck: "I KNEW IT! YOU ARE MY MOTHER!"