Gossip Girl
High Infidelity

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Everything Was Beautiful & Nothing Hurt

SO REAL

Blair manages to work awesome forgotten details of the Ponzi scheme into her freakout on Nelly Yuki and Poppy Lifton, like how Gabriel's supermodel grifter posse was selling "fake African satellites" when they stole all that money and Blair turned Georgina and Jesus against each other. In the end, it's revealed that -- as with all good schemes on this show -- your best bet is to just wind up your toys and let Blair's innate insanity take care of the rest.

Nelly Yuki: "All I did was set up the article and let you do what you always do. Implode."

So she does, and continues to do so, and she acts so insane that Nelly Yuki and Poppy Lifton decide to leave her out of the article altogether, so now suddenly Blair has no designs, no WWD, no connections, no hope. Which is when Serena's security guys finally track her down, and carry her out of there. I'm not even sure there's a plot reason this time, since we already know she will always implode, but in terms of setting up even more obstacles for her to overcome, I'll allow. It's not like last year, where the humiliation itself became the point.

ATELIER

Somehow, though, Dorota has cobbled together an entire team of crack fashionistas, and they're hard at work when she arrives home, like little gay elves. What is it that they're working on? Well, I guess they didn't know we're scrapping the whole line. I guess we should announce that now.

Dorota: "Missy Blair have just one chance to make debut. At fashion show for buyers next week time! This line no longer viable, must create new clothes and designs. No complaining! Ten days is more than enough time if you mean it."
Blair: "As my mother's first facialist, Elizabeth Arden, said, 'I only want people around me who can do the impossible.' So."

THE SPECTATOR

Nate: "Hey, are you going to screw me over and jump to Vanity Fair?"
Dan: "Not this week, buddy."
Nate: "Why do you have that luggage with you? Oh my God, are we having a sleepover?"
Dan: "Indeed. If you don't think Chuck will mind."
Nate: "Why on earth would I ask him? Anyway, let's publish your horrible petty bullshit and make everybody hate you even more than they already do. And then maybe we can do something about your hair situation."
Dan: "I'm a nihilist now, because Blair chose Chuck. And also because I saw my father fucking Ivy Dickens in my bed, and I'm still unwell."

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