Gossip Girl
High Infidelity

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Everything Was Beautiful & Nothing Hurt

Serena & Barry Watson say shit like: "Tonight marks the start of a whole new era!" And "Serena takes Manhattan!" And the number one sign you are about to be eaten by wolves, Serena saying "I couldn't be happier to leave my old life behind!" Dude, if Serena van der Woodsen says that shit to you, run. There is no escape and it is already too late, but at least try to run. This entire show is just a running account of how many people Serena can take down with her each time she says that phrase.

L'ATALIER WALDORF

Is nicely appointed, if a little basic boutique-y: There's bolts of fabric around, Princess Mombi cabinets showing off all of Eleanor's classic designs, a private office, some conference rooms, whatever. Imagine Victoria's Secret, but with more counter space.

Dorota: "Me wonder if WWD writer-human think no designer seamstress model in building? No for why?"
Blair: "It is kind of fucked up that Eleanor's Paris team declined to follow me -- the president of the company and apparently sole designer -- back to New York, but who cares? Who needs an entire team of gifted craftsmen when I have two random henchwomen? This week it's Kati from Constance Billard, and also that blonde one that's actually funny."

BROOKLYN WITHOUT BOUNDARIES

Dan, verbatim: "To think that I used to consider Brooklyn a moral high ground. Now that my father's fallen off his pedestal, I'm free of such delusions!"
Georgina: "Only a mentally ill person like myself could ever want to fuck a person who talks like that. Everything you just said is even more boner-repellent than the pube farm up top."
Dan: "I'm so glad you're my literary agent for this book that doesn't exist, in any industry that has always worked the opposite of how this show thinks."
Georgina: "Just keep writing those scathing exposés on UES people nobody has ever heard of. We're going to burn some very tiny, inconsequential bridges together."

BASS BRUNCH

Bart: "I'm so old, remind me what is going on?"
Lily: "Yeah, I haven't really been paying attention either, because of how boring Bart Bass storylines always are."
Amira: "Well, now apparently I'm here because I am the Mentalist and can read minds, in addition to translating languages and also being a travel agent or something."
Chuck: "I'm just here because I have nothing else going on, as I've been neutered. It's very romantic."

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Gossip Girl

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