Gossip Girl
High Infidelity

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
Everything Was Beautiful & Nothing Hurt

Amira: "I'm not fucking him, he's a tiny little child that dresses like an Old West charlatan half the time."
Chuck: "Honestly I wasn't even trying to imply anything sexual, I just have a naturally grody voice. So listen Dad, did you ever do anything sketchy that Amira knows about?"
Bart: "Not that I can recall, no."
Chuck: "Really? Because I think you did."
Bart: "...Well, brunch has been great but I'm afraid Bass Industries storylines bore even me, Bart Bass. I'm going to leave brunch and then probably murder Amira, the Woman From Dubai With Many Jobs But Also No Jobs."
Amira: "I hope you don't, but it does seem likely. Also, I read it in your mind."
Lily: "Be nice to your dad! I think that's what a mom would say maybe. Or like, Don't go swimming yet! Not until you digest your brunch!"


Reality: "Blair, why don't you just work hard and hire people for the jobs they are trained to do?"
Blair: "No, I'm going to call in random minions, give them ludicrous backstories for no reason, and then get real abusive. Have you not seen this show?"
Reality: "We are not even vaguely acquainted."

Nelly Yuki: "For example, I am now a reporter for Women's Wear Daily, with contacts throughout the fashion industry."
Blair: "The guest arc situation in this final season is somewhat 'catch as catch can,' as we're learning."
Blonde Minion: Somehow manages to get both legs in one leg of a pair of tights; goes hopping around like a Swiftian allegory. Very droll.


Serena: "It's so fun sitting on this random bench with you, Nate. And thanks for sponsoring my gala!"
Nate: "Thanks for pretending I have a real company! But listen, don't you think it would make sense for you to get back together with Blair?"
Serena: "I'm not mad, I'm just bored of her bullshit and... I dunno, just better than the rest of you. I think Steven has fucked grown-upness into me. I think that's how things work."
Nate: "Serena, if that were true I would have gone through menopause by now."

Serena: "Speaking of the exploitation and abuse that characterized your early years on the show, are you seeing anybody new?"
Nate: "A horrible girl-child with a wretched temper and a stupid name. She wears these hats that just make you want to slap her little face."

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Gossip Girl




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