Gossip Girl
High Infidelity

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
Everything Was Beautiful & Nothing Hurt

Georgina: "Really? Fuckin' now you're gonna start that shit with me? You rubbed the lamp, honey. I'm just the hell that came billowing out."
Dan: "Thanks. When your personality is paper-thin and based entirely on leveraging your self-worth against everybody else's faults, it's easy to slip back there."

Some clock somewhere goes off and Georgina takes a look at the time on her phone.

Georgina: "3... 2... Annnnd I'm manic. Get ready for some wholly unrealistic optimism comin' your way."


Blair: "So you're going to rappel up the side of this building using a grappling hook..."
Minions: "Can't we just walk in? Kati's ex let us in the first time..."
Blair: "So like all your exes, he is gay. Surprise surprise. But no, that plan is much too sensible and I have no confidence in my line. Nuclear is our only option. Now, if you'll direct your attention to this diagram of how to actually lay in the C4 where Forensics won't find it later..."
Kati: "Yo dawg I heard Serena likes fashion shows so much Poppy's putting a fashion show in her Central Park Conservancy Gala so she can stress while she stresses."
Blair: "Wait, Serena is hosting that gala? And Poppy's having her shit photographed there? How does any of this make sense? And how can I make this an excuse to call Chuck Bass, begging him to help me despite our entire storyline this year supposedly being about me not doing that?

Blonde Minion, meanwhile, has wiggled her entire head into some pantyhose, being a cat burglar of Poppy's fashions and all, so that all you can see is her face through the sheer nude material. It's a fresh moment for this show, I don't think we've ever seen anything like that before. Well done.


Amira: "I am not your mother! Probably. In the sense that every single person who ever appears on this show is your mother, I am your mother in that way. And I did fuck your dad, but it doesn't really matter."
Chuck: "But that weekend contains the secret!"
Amira: "I am so tired of this secret. I just want to go home. Maybe he just paid me off so Lily wouldn't find out about our affair or something."
Chuck: "That's unrealistically realistic for this show."
Amira: "Yeah, I wasn't really trying because I don't really care. Later!"
Chuck: "Not exactly. I put your money in my apartment safe and I'm holding you hostage until you can think of that thing you don't know."

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