Jenny apologizes to the boys, but must insist: "If the girls see you up here, they're gonna take it as a sign of weakness and..." Eric nods and exposits that the girls are looking for any sign of weakness, and she can't afford to give it to them, so they move down sweetly just before the girls return with skinless-almonded yogurt.

Jonathan gays it up about "Hello, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers!" and how Jenny is becoming a "dark, power-hungry monster" and Eric stands up for her and how she only "wears the mask for school." Jonathan reminds us why we love him, cheating notwithstanding, with a brilliant volley: "That mask is becoming her face."

Nate is so into watching Olivia and ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ fangbanging that he like forgets Dan's even there. Once he bites her neck, she starts levitating, and Dan gets weirded out, and Nate very seriously explains that it's a special effect: Olivia can't actually fly. Love you, Nate. Dan talks and talks and talks to himself about fucking nothing and then when Olivia calls him he gets stupid and coughs into the phone and tells her he has the flu or something. As usual, keep your eyes on Nate because I swear for a second he actually thinks Dan suddenly got the flu in the last five seconds, and then figures out that it is a ruse -- a special effect, if you will -- and then is proud of himself for figuring it out, and then gets immediately drawn back into the fangbanging so hard he forgets that any of that just happened.

While Serena puts together goodie bags for something, Blair's all over her off-label club opening for the Empire, including the less masculine Ronson sibling and the mixologist from Milk & Honey. Whose house rules -- No name-dropping, no star fucking. No hooting, hollering, shouting or other loud behavior. No fighting, play fighting, no talking about fighting. Gentlemen will remove their hats. Hooks are provided. Gentlemen will not introduce themselves to ladies. Ladies, feel free to start a conversation or ask the bartender to introduce you. If a man you don't know speaks to you, please lift your chin slightly and ignore him. Do not linger outside the front door. Do not bring anyone unless you would leave that person alone in your home. You are responsible for the behavior of your guests. Exit the bar briskly and silently. People are trying to sleep across the street. Please make all your travel plans and say all farewells before leaving the bar. -- are for me what Endless Knights is for Nate Archibald.