Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Raised On Robbery

No wonder Gossip Girl talks so crazy all the time! When she actually tries to say something normal, she uses more words than I do! So Jenny marches over to that closet and gathers up armful after armful of those babydolls and cute handmade stuff, and makes the change to grownup mean people clothes from fashionable boutiques and apparel purveyors, and then in a last desperate move toward total craziness, picks up that sewing machine -- the sewing machine always gets it -- and, after a soul-searching moment with breathing and slow-blinking and a sharp little nod, plunks it onto the heap. Her rebel spark goes out. She stares at it for a second, commits to this decision, and goes to bed.

So of all the people who tried on new personas this week, it looks like the worst/best ones stuck. You've got Jenny finally relinquishing her home self altogether, Eric moving into the proletarian provocateur role Jenny used to fill, Serena yet again implicating herself in the spectacle she was trying to administrate, Blair becoming a full-on Evil Empress, Rufus and Lily finally giving up any pretense of him being a human being or a man, Dan finally admitting he's a starfucker, and Nate becoming the snotty Kennedy he was always meant to be. For an episode that came off as a particularly snappy writing exercise, it sure does look like everybody's rigged to blow in a major way next week. See you at the van der Bilt election party -- and you'd better bring some Band-Aids and moist towelettes, because I don't see Serena letting Blair live one second longer than she needs to. XOXO.

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Gossip Girl

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