Maybe they just worship money that much on this show: Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, I Am Legend.

Surely you are joking: I, Robot, Lost In Space, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin.

No comment: Practical Magic.

I realize that it's hard trying to reconcile the first three seasons of this show with what's come after, because the people behind the scenes have changed a lot and the entire narrative DNA has changed a whole lot, it's pretty much an entirely different show that happens to look the same in some ways, many ways. And shit like that tends to drive certain kinds of fans -- shippers, pretend-feminists, gif-makers and fan-ficcers and Tumblr-collagers, the spoiler-readers -- absolutely bonkers, because they think the characters are real and relate emotionally to the show on such a profoundly personal level that it doesn't really matter that they aren't.

But I submit to you that it has driven me bonkers in an entirely other way, because the Akiva bullet came out of nowhere and it sort of rearranged my entire mindset about this show, to be honest. I kind of wondered if it were getting bad, but I had no idea it was getting that bad. Which makes this job, pardon me, a lot easier and more fun to do.

SPECTATOR

Nate whines at Diana about how she's dating Gessen, and somehow Diana gets mad at Ivy about it for the reason that she didn't know Nate was going to end up at his office and find out that information. But hey, here's a fuckin' brainwave: If he's your date, do you really need to hand-deliver an invitation? Anyway, they have the same exact conversation as before, but slightly shorter maybe.

BETTINGER

Turns out today was a lie, and actually it was supposed to be Sorkin the entire time -- the fact that this show equates Aaron Sorkin with Akiva Goldsman, okay -- but first they needed to convince Dan to get off the script, which meant fooling both of them. And not only that, but because Aaron Sorkin's first movie apparently was the Facebook movie, dropping his name as writer means Jane intends to "Zuckerberg" Dan; make the whole movie about what a fucking jerk he is. Which, right by being wrong I guess. It's a fine and funny idea, but not really the point of Aaron Sorkin or movies or ... writing.