Gossip Girl
In The Realm Of The Basses

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Where In The Hell Is Chuck Bass? San Diego?

Penelope sighs, "First, there has been a long tradition of newer members being subjected to more... attention," which is perfect Abu Ghraib double-talk, and Hazel notes that some of the shit she had to do when she was the Nelly Yuki was downright disgusting... And the whole time B is sort of distracted and she's like, "I remember, I made you do them," but more importantly how stupid is all of this really. She is moving forward and whether it's the Colony Club or it's "whatever" happened on NYE, high school Queen B crap is no longer important. Which fits, frankly, because God, which is the country Little J lives in now, although -- just like state-sanctioned marriage -- try explaining that tiny little silly world to the people still stuck there.

J asks for her verdict, and B goes all in: "Tonight I'm hosting the selection committee of the Colony Club." Iz is amazed, pointing out that they don't take high school girls and that this is obviously ridiculous, but trust Blair Waldorf to push past that, inimitably. "I know. I was surprised, too... That's not entirely true." She tells them that Nelly Yuki or no Nelly Yuki, the whole thing is stupid, and then takes off without offering a ruling. Iz goes insane about how it's end of an era and she's leaving them behind, and Penelope offers another take: "We're more than any one member," she adds, and then clarifies that "the only way Nelly is leaving is in a body bag." Suddenly Hot Hazel gets a suddenly hot personality and goes: "God, P. Tone down the crazy!" Her delivery is spotless. I'm glad she got smoking hot at exactly the same time I remembered what she reminds me of, which is Francie, the same exact character as Penelope, only on Gilmore Girls and fifty times scarier. Meanwhile in the hallway:

S: i thought our parents were all xoxo but no lol
D: it is so ysterious
S: were so selfish because y lol
D: whatev my dad hugs xoxo fgt?

B: omg omg omg
D: i m so useless its amazng
B: i know right
D: l8r i have a class 4 once
B: um ok bitch neways

B: S i am srsly worried about C
S: dont be so silly it's c lol
B: no for real
S: C will rape like 7 ppl and drink so much then be fine
B: idk bcause hash in the ctyd and qwueller nd uncle jackbass touching childrn
S: w ever @!!@ im serena vdw hello like i actually care lol
B: pls pull it 2gether not be vapid cnt
S: i can try lol
B: no lol no xoxo just dunzo crzy Chuck my love
S: always goes to crzytown and does all drugs and hos lol ok ok

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Gossip Girl

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