I hope you remember me
Eric waits for Jenny outside Queller's office, and she fills him in on Penelope's effed up counter-bullying plan, which they sort of agree is genius. Nelly's glasses are still broken; Jenny's grown up enough to realize that this is a shortcut to "deal with it yourself, asshole," which given Jenny's behavior toward Queller last semester is still kind of a sweetheart deal considering she got exactly 1.5 days into her return to Constance before the accusations started flying around again. Were I Queller, I'd stamp her with a big old BAD RISK stamp, because you know R can't afford the kind of palm-greasing that would get any Humphrey back into a real school with the shit they constantly pull. Jenny once again, like an idiot who needs to advance a plot point, demands of Nelly Yuki the truth of why and how come they won't just let her desert, and Nelly Yuki plays what we don't know yet is her actual trump card: "She's probably afraid I'll tell people she's sleeping with her dad's junior partner. I mean, the things I know..." Nelly Yuki turns, all innocence, staring. "No! Penelope would kill me! Literally!" And as awesome as that is, Jenny is still twenty times awesomer, both on paper and in execution: "Yeah, we'll see!"
OMG Dan comes and bothers Rufus at the gallery and says he knows about Boston and how it's not an artist and how it's orphans, and R is so cool that he's immediately like, "What did Chuck Bass say?" Which is delicious mostly because my God Rufus, but also because how sweet is the irony that Dan now uncovers where Chuck knows shit about their family and how violating that feels. Oh crap what if he decides to write an exposé or Truman Capote-style Xmas story about it? Wouldn't that be totally awful, especially if he held it over your head? The ways that Humphreys invent to be hypocrites is sort of magical, like a unicorn that questions all your opinions and burns incense in your guest room. Rufus explains, rightly, that Dan is traipsing through territory that belongs not to him or Chuck but almost everybody on this entire show, and needs to fucking chill, and Dan's like "I cannot chill" and Rufus is all "I know but come on" and Dan's like, "Okay but not really," and Rufus is totally, "I wouldn't trust my son with this kind of shit if he weren't my son, because Vanessa Abrams has destroyed his ability to respect boundaries to whatever small degree I instilled as a parent because I LOVE BEING A DAD."