Outside Victrola, Dan hums and fucks around instead of telling Serena about their brother that makes them incest-gross, and then Rufus calls after two hours to explain how it's none of Dan's business so he should shut his trap and not tell Serena just long enough for her to find out on her own and once again dump him, and Dan agrees that this is sensible, and then hilariously she tries to make out with him sixteen times and he slow-motion dodges her first left then right like it's the Matrix and her face is bullets.
Blair yells at Jack while he's putting Chuck in a limo, and Jack's like, "You have no choice but to trust me here," and her face goes cold and she's all, "He can't know what happened. On New Year's." She ricochets and you don't even notice. I thought that meant they fucked, but who knows, and the song's all "Tell me to jump and I'll die" and GG is like, WTF as they drive away and leave B staring after a limo for the twelfth time this episode. Meanwhile, Lonelyboy is still dodging Serena's giant face, and Rufus and Lily are jumping in another limo to go find Pilot Inspektor, and tonight they read the will and Chuck becomes the richest boy in the world, if he lives long enough to enjoy it, and I for one cannot wait. You know I love you. XOXO.