Serena explains Assassin, snatch the photo, get that person's previous kills, and when you're ghost like Swayze you come back to the Waldorfs' for the actual party. Five minutes to leave the building -- although, sadly, not the block -- and everybody runs off. Jenny twinkles about how she was "in on it," and Serena is not fooled by that shit at all, and when they're alone she asks Nate WTF he was doing running around with Jenny all day when they were supposed to be doing not only a real thing but a fake one. With associated double entendre regarding Jenny's role in all this mystery. It is well done. He runs off, and into Chuck, who is not feeling this stupid game in any way, but explains why in such a dramatic way that Nate doesn't even hear him: "I'm already dead... Although you're welcome to kill me again if you like." Oh, girl.
"Bored" by The Shoes plays, ironically, while a truly retardo montage of everybody chasing everybody else, and Jenny making dewy horny hunting faces, plays out. Occasionally they flash into this Photoshoppy comic-book bullshit like what ruined the DVD reissue of Streets Of Fire, and it's totally embarrassing and we're not going to talk about it. Similarly, Vanya proposes to fucking Dorota, and we're not talking about that queer shit either. The kids run around them and they are very pretty to look at but very fucked up to deal with, and Eric trips over them and into a totally hot boy, and gets excited about their engagement, and then he and the cute boy meet-cute and Eric is all kinds of sexy and self-assured -- and again, unrealistic in the most affirming way, viewerwise, and very well-written, and let's all be Eric from now on, as usual -- picking up the cute boy, but has to run off to tell Jenny to stop being such an obvious whore with Nate, and the cute boy purses his Culkin lips and furrows his Sebastian Stan brow and gnashes his Ben Foster jaw and is totally cute some more as he picks up Eric's photo, having figuratively nailed him... With Cupid's arrow!
Dan gets all intense with Vanessa, like he maybe will actually kill her -- wouldn't that be great, if he just snapped Tunnels & Trolls style and assassinated her ass? -- and she doesn't know he's not kidding, and finally he spills about finding the marked-up ms. in her bag and how her work was in fact a D and not an A+, but before they can Lesbian Process the shit out of that development, which is like their entire raison d'être, Serena kills them both -- " At least you'll be together on the other side," she mumbles without even giving a fuck -- and that's why she's my favorite and the best.