"The only note I've got is, I wish... I wish there was more of it!" That's the entire conversation, basically, about the Dan-Vanessa non-starter of a too-bloody-realistic storyline. Vanessa jerks a little bit and lies that she hasn't been able to read his stupid play yet, because of course she took him at his word and marked it all up to hell. Bleeds red, actually. So they agree to hunker down and Dan is a liar for poon and Vanessa is a liar, also for poon. Also at the party, Dorota talks and talks about God knows what, so Serena calls Grandfather to stall Nate, but he's not with Nate, because Nate is off getting the RAINN treatment, and Dorota says some more shit, and S goes off to find him.

Uffie is the funniest, stupidest little thing, but you can't deny she's got Jenny and Nate's collective number. "Crunk 'n grime, that's my bloodline/ Pick up the pace, with your cracked out face/ Down low is where ya keep it boy/ Don't let anyone know." Little J's new nickname should be Crunk & Grime. Or maybe that's the "Brangelina" of Vanessa and Dan's relationship.

Nate finally escapes Jenny, after about six more references to the gang-rape she clearly thinks of as a new accessory, because she is psychotic: "It's just you're the only one who gets what I'm going through right now," she says, classically. I always thought Jenny was the type to use the misfortune of like a bare acquaintance or the school janitor to get attention*. So she spots Serena's GG-wide blast searching for Nate, realizes they've now got an APB from the surveillance culture, and decides to take him to a movie, where they will hide from S under cover of darkness.

*(Remember those girls? "He was my best friend! Now he is dead or maimed!" Or "I am learning American Sign Language!" Or "My nephew has Asperger's!" Or "My best friend is gay, so I don't really think you should talk like that" or "My body, my words" or "When you used 'retarded' in a clearly different and intended context, it hurt my feelings deeply" or "I will never forgive the fictional character Chuck Bass for that time he didn't rape anybody!" Those girls? Our enemy. Don't be one. Stand on your own or you're not standing at all.)