Aidan: "I've never been to a party like this in Florida! We don't even have underwear there, just full Brazilians and daddy issues."
Serena: "Well done being adorable, little boy! Anyway, once Nate sees you with his even gayer doppelganger, he will dump that woman he's not dating for sure."
Lola: "Sure, that makes sense. Now, where is the underwear?"
Serena: "As long as you understand that this underwear is magic, and putting it on will make you New York's new It Girl. Or a Mormon."
Lola: "Shit is complicated. I do know that I'm terrified to surpass you."
Serena: "Once I look that word up, I will make the call on whether you should be scared."
Lola: "Well, well. If it isn't Nate and Diana. On a date. Have you met my date, Aidan?"
Aidan: "I am very into sexual intercourse of ladies. And underwear also."
Nate: "Wait, are you wearing underwear tonight? You lied!"
Diana: "None of this interests me too much, but I am playing to win! Come on, Nate. I randomly hate this new Charlie Rhodes just as much as I randomly hated the other one."
Lily: "I'm so excited to be packing up and getting out of this hellhole, that I am continuing to drink!"
Rufus: "I just feel bad for Ivy. Because of the horrible, nonsensical things you keep doing to her."
Lily, verbatim: "I refuse to feel remorse about this."
Rufus: "I refuse to feel anything but self-righteous about this."
Nate: "I think you bought my website or magazine or newspaper because you are in love with me."
Diana: "You know what I love? Young dick."
Aidan: "Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Payne?"
Diana: "It would seem so. Nate, I'll be back in about five minutes."
Aidan: "If she's lucky!"
Lola & Nate: "...Our plan is working perfectly!"
Nola's Plan: Come to underwear party. Tell Diana she's in love with Nate, hoping that she'll instantly run off and fuck poor little Aidan in the bathroom. The end. That's the whole plan. And it works, of course.
Blair: "Why are you here?"
Chuck: "I am gross. It's an underwear party. Work it out."
Blair: "Why did you pay my dowry? It reminds me of that time you didn't trade me for a hotel! And it makes me right about yelling at you earlier for your mommy storyline!"
Chuck: "Actually, I am being completely aboveboard, and merely wanted to set you free without getting any credit for it."
Blair: "Now that you're saying that again, almost verbatim, I believe you. Such a pickle."