Lola: "Okay, that WTF face is pretty amazing. But on the real, I don't want to replace you as the It Girl."
Serena: "All you ever do is let me down! By doing things that make sense and then explaining how I am irrelevant to them!"
Lola: "Serena! I. Don't. Really. Like. You."
Serena: "I just don't understand what you're saying!"

Kiki Employee: "Couple quick changes. We're renaming the 'Serena' to the 'Lola,' so she'll be modeling that one. Serena, you will wear this underwear made out of living insects and a compost pile."
Serena: "The hell I will."

Kiki Employee: "I can't believe you're not going Dark Phoenix right now. You're at like a 6."
Serena: "I'm saving it for when I realize she's my sister and she starts getting the attention from our father that I so crippingly covet."
Kiki Employee: "What are you thinking for this time when you act out?"
Serena: "I'm gonna steal a horse and a boat, and then the horse will pull the boat down Madison Ave at lunchtime, and I will have my tits out."

AFTERMATH

GG: "Okay, Serena. It was fun watching you flame out, as usual, but I really want my stuff back."
Serena: "I have to figure out how crazy I'm going first, okay?"

Lola: "Serena, I'm sorry about before. I know what you were trying to do, the whole It Girl thing, and I appreciate it."
Serena: "Yeah, well, it's clearly not for you." Lola: "Could you have said that any bitchier?"
Serena: "Nope."

Lola: "On the upside, thanks to that underwear I wore an hour ago, my acting career is finally taking off."
Serena: "I don't really care."
Lola: "And I was thinking that instead of being like you, I want to have Everywoman appeal."
Serena: "I'm staring mutely at you because you are kind of the worst."
Lola: "I just thought you were going to that place you go sometimes."

Serena: "Listen, just don't get used to it. You think fame's tricky? Wait until your secret sister shows up being impersonated by a whole other girl who pretends she's on psych meds and then makes your boyfriend call her by your name while he's fucking her in your old high school and then the real one shows up and starts dating your ex and eventually eclipses your fame through underwear and deception."