"The Waldorf equivalent of Chuck going around sleeping with every call girl in the city and avoiding any kind of emotional contact," Nate says, losing it right there at the end to some shitty writing indeed, and Blair explains that she is feeling trapped and crazy at NYU, and thus is self-medicating with her Columbia pretense and slight takedowns of people like Jenny Humphrey who frankly deserve worse. But then the worst writing yet: "You can always make it right with whoever you take down online. And who knows if Chuck's even gonna have time to do that with Lily or not?" That was some Gossip Girl herself-style bullshit. First of all, that's not a response to what Blair even said, and second of all, that is a segue without the segue. I mean, I appreciate that the words themselves actually mean what they're being used for because that's been gone for a long time, but that sentence made no sense either intrinsically or in context.

Grateful for a mission, Blair speeds over to Chuck's -- not before the Columbia girls apparently use spider-hearing to figure out that she's not really a Columba student -- where he has left out a bottle of Dom '95, which he calls her favorite even though any fucking retard knows that it's actually Dom '96, but apparently she prefers Roederer nowadays anyway, so it doesn't matter. Chuck apologizes for the bras everywhere -- "Nadine left behind some of her intimates, she must have wanted an excuse to come back" -- but while Blair nearly laughs that she probably just left in a hurry, I'm more confused as to why Nadine came over wearing eleven bras in the first place.

Chuck acts super gay and rolls around on the couch and acts ridiculous and won't go see Lily, which Blair explains to him in Nate-sized words is -- because of how his parents keep dying or dying and then coming back to life or coming back to life as somebody else or fucking his uncle and then being dead but coming back to life only to reveal that they are an actor and your parent is really dead -- not really acceptable, and that if he doesn't go see Lily then terrible things will happen to his psyche. "Perhaps if you were at an Ivy," he snorts, "You'd have better insight." (Which is AMAZING, but we don't know that yet, so it just sounds mean when he says that.) The GG blast about B claiming to be at Columbia comes through -- "First she lost Chuck and now her dignity" -- but she tells him once again about keeping his heart open to Lily, because they are the only two people on this show with a healthy relationship, and she calls Amalia back at NYU and tells her to count her in for the falafel apartment.