Serena heads down to Waffle Central to yell at Rufus about how he's fucking with her dad via the co-op board, and Rufus totally tries to stand his ground and be admirable and honest, and she's just appalled at this whole act. Which it is, just appalling, even if he turns out to be right: He is constitutionally unable to do anything in the correct way. Whatever the easiest solution is, do something twice as complicated and make sure to involve a bunch of stances and moral stands and weird behavior like everything you know about fatherhood and adulthood and masculinity is just something you read in this book one time.

"I know you and my father used to hate each other? But that was a long time ago. You are the only one still having this fight. He has moved on." Lily shows up and Serena explains about how Rufus is acting like a petulant child, shocker, and Lily's like, "Jesus with this, still," and how it's "jealousy run amok" and Serena tells Rufus to sit, stay, roll over, he's not allowed to come to the gala. And not that I would like him to do otherwise, but the fact that he just stands there and whines soundlessly instead of responding in any way? If he had done one thing in this episode so far that didn't involve crapping on Lily or Serena, for no real reason, maybe it wouldn't seem so delicious now to see S put him in his place. Just kidding, that would be beautiful no matter what.

Those Columbia girls show up at the alumni event, and laugh at B to being a fake student, and meanwhile everybody else is running around staring at everybody else, and then Nate and S spot Chuck standing there, with an extreme version of his patented Good Boy Hair, and everybody tries to figure out who made him do it. Blair goes, "It's not like he even listens to me! And he probably just ran out of girls to have sex with." Amazing. So they watch him walk over to Lily, and it's really sweet and they're both awesome. He apologizes for not being around, and she says she understands, and he tells her she looks great, and she says he's in for a lot of waffle brunches to come. And when he hugs her, with that Charlie smile, possibly you got a little misty.