Dan, trying to show off his most hideous side to Lexi, as some kind of douchenozzle mating call, and expansively talks about how he writes on these benches at this park or whatever, like, all the time with these deep thoughts, and he points at this house where Norman Mailer used to live, and how when he was even dorkier than he is right this second he used to think about knocking on the door. Lexi -- who is wearing an animal print faux-fur jacket and purple tights, okay, because she is from hell, just straight from hell, no bridge, no tunnel, no ferryboat, just hell delivered to your door -- goes, "Why didn't you?" Aaron tries to explain why that's shitty and annoying, and Lexi totally acts put off, all, "Okay. It's a door, but whatever." Like Aaron's being abusive or something. Yes, you perfect ass, it's a door. And there are people behind it, who don't know you and didn't invite you, or anybody else of the hundreds of socially maladapted losers like you, to bother them at home. But you know, whatever.

Dan's like, "I don't know why I'm always so worried about what people might think of me. It certainly hasn't paid off," and instead of pushing him into the river, Serena's like, "That sort of counts as growth!" Dan and Lexi are total soulmates because yes, Dan is hyperaware and self-conscious and pretentious like whoa, but his entire personality is about being in denial about that, or his sick need for approval, so what is he talking about? Dan's like when they ask you what your faults are and you're like, "My faults? I care too much, I take things too seriously, and I'm too detail-oriented." Serena is not actually interested in that, though, because it's really just a stepping-stone to the real news, which is that Aaron agreed to take her to the dance finally. Dan stutters and stammers, and then Lexi is like, "Lest you forget that I am right here and truly disgusting, I'm up."

"Wait, I'm sorry, pause?"

And again: Enough said. She said that shit out loud, without irony. I hope Vanessa Abrams cuts her open like a gunnysack, I really do. Somehow, I would love that. Because once Vanessa gets a load of Lexi, she can't help but change her tune, right? Lexi is like the exorcism that Vanessa needs, like Chuck was Dan's? I really hope that's where this is headed, because I really need Lexi to have a point, and it's not Aaron because Aaron doesn't have a point yet either, but if Lexi doesn't have a point then what we will have to admit is that we are nothing to this show but objects to abuse. Anyway, Lexi sort of adorably goads Dan into asking her to the Ball too, and then before you know it she drags him off to the ex-house of the deceased Norman Mailer, talking yet more annoying shit: "Come now! Ring doorbell!"