Aaron once again asks Serena if -- against all reason, body language and common sense -- she's still "okay" with the wretched creature. Serena calls it "a little When Harry Met Crazy," because what teens today love is that fresh and innovative Billy Crystal shtick and of course that would be her reference point, and Aaron up and tells Serena that Dan will be getting fucked after the Snowflake Ball, will he or no. "Lexi likes to sleep with guys on the first date. She claims it's a political statement against male-dominated sexual hypocrisy or something." Oh, of course she fucking does. Lexi! Is everything! Anybody ever hated! At once! Serena, awesomely, goes: "Can't she just... vote?" which is the kind of shit that makes Serena my total fave, and Aaron just blows her off. And then instructs her not to care about it. Like he literally goes, "Whatever." And she giggles and tosses her hair and goes, "Yeah! Whatever!" Yikes. Last week when he made dinner and she was like, "That's my cue to get off the phone," I thought it was just unfortunate word choice, but no: we're going to the College Boys Don't Even Know They're Turning You Slowly Into A Retard Sex Doll So You Have To Watch Out story. Which provides enough of a point for Aaron that I can forgive his facial and hair and facial hair situations.

Chuck asks his father not to go to this Miami business meeting, given the situation with Lily, and Bart whisper-yells about how the whole Thanksgiving debacle was his fault anyway, for giving Eric the files, and removes his affection and approval as swiftly as he gave it, the night of Charlie Trout. Which saddens and shames Chuck, because he was A) just excited about the novelty of showing his best little brother the safe and B) values disclosure almost as much as he values this family unit, which we talked about before with how of course he and Vanessa get along, because they both like telling secrets and having things out on the table, because he's on the other side of the burlesque from B or even Serena.

Chuck's priorities have been shifting every since the wedding, and I honestly think that as much as he yearns for Bart's love, he is just as committed to Lily and Serena and Eric, to their actual family actually working, and that's the real reason he cracked the safe. Because all the surveillance and shit never bothered him -- you need a sense of shame to operate in a shame culture, or else it's just information -- he had no actual way of knowing how freaked out the blondes would get about it. So he managed to break, like, the only three promises he's ever made in his life, and hurt the only people besides Nate that he is openly allowed to love honestly. And then and only then, on top of these things, he pissed off his Dad.