Dan calls Serena to tell her that first, when you rent a tux in Brooklyn they throw in the shoes, and also to ask if she's still "okay" with this horrible plan. I love how this whole episode is the boys putting S in this untenable situation and then asking her a billion times if it's okay, knowing that she won't back down. How maddening! She tells him they've outgrown drama -- HA! -- and then the conversation sort of trails off. She hangs up and Aaron comes in wearing a tux without a tie, which looks ridiculous and is thus perfect for him, and they have that same conversation for I think the fifth time, and finally to shut him up she promises to bone him afterward. Aaron refuses to see the obvious correlation between Lexi's slutty ways and Serena's sudden interest in doing him, and they make out for awhile.

Jenny, anxious to get away from Vanessa before Vanessa figures out that there's something devilish going on, and Vanessa's trying to come clean about the Nate relationship, and apologizes for always being jealous of Dan and Jenny's great life, but Jenny isn't even hearing it. She launches into a preamble to explaining her felony, but Jenny cuts her off and leaves when Nate calls, so she just tells Nate she wants to confess a horrible thing instead.

Lily, wearing yet another beautiful toga dress, calls Bart's secretary -- a Mrs. Landingham, for you fans of foreshadowing out there -- to invite him back into her life, but changes her mind when she learns that he's meeting with the PI, whom Bart sort of fudged having fired. Which is such an ironic parallel to the constant Purloined Letter/escape from Mantua highjinks, because he honestly is firing the PI as we speak, but she doesn't know that.

Glowing party platters with martinis, good music with actual good dancing shots for the first time in a while, and a bunch of snowflakes all over the place. Iz is wearing a superfloofy petticoated pinkish number, Hazel's got her girls on high alert in a similar dress and hair flattened into a cute flip, and Penelope is wearing the beautiful, bias-cut J dress. Both she and Iz have the wonderful Grecian Urn hair thing happening, of course, and Penny exposits the evil plan. "Brooklyn Betty walks in, we cue the song... Hazel's new boyfriend hits her with the spotlight..." Hazel mutters dark hatred and fake-smiles at the dork they convinced to help them, and Penelope pushes the half-assed fairytale motif that runs throughout this episode but never really scores a solid hit: "And we expose her in nothing but her cheap glass slippers." Nate zooms by, stopping just long enough to agree to save Penelope a dance, and goes wandering off like he always does, with those slightly confused stars and whirligigs swirling around his cute little stoned head.