"Tell me something, Rufus. Something you shouldn't." Not because I'm going to run off with you, but just to add that little bit of angst lubrication you always bring to the table before I fling myself and my family into yet another bizarre abyss. "I never wanted to weigh in about your relationship with Bart," he says quietly, and she nods. "I was... Afraid of what I might say." So was she. She inches forward on her bench, every nerve and muscle screaming, come on come on come on: "Which was?" Oh, he looks like a man but damn, he breaks just like a little girl: "I let you go on your wedding day because I was afraid I couldn't give you what you needed. I wasn't sure what I needed. And I have regretted it every day since." Chuck sees them mooning at each other and pulls out a gun. I mean, his phone.

In the limo, Bart is reminding the PI that he done got fired before the Miami trip, and the greaseball is like, "Okay, but first you have to hear this amazing shit I found out." Chuck calls right then and goes, "She's here. Lily's at the Ball. With Rufus Humphrey. And from what I'm seeing, you should figure something out and get down here now." Bart hangs up and asks the PI what he's got; he hates to do this, to break another promise, but sometimes knowing all you can before you head into battle is the only way everybody can win, and that's the thing he kept trying to tell her.

But I was still sort of incensed at this point, because the commercial break is just long enough for you to go, "That's lame. Chuck would never do that, because Chuck is focused on the family. His father's love is ego and it's something he will always want and need, but Chuck has done some impressive shit to keep this family together before. Either he honestly thinks Lily's jumping ship and he's just trying to get everything out on the table, or he ... is acting really out of character. I didn't like it, it seemed mean. But then after the commercial, he strides directly over to Lily, who stands up guiltily and wonders how bad it's about to get. "You've been good for him. Good for us. I always liked you, regardless of how I may have acted." She makes her "and?" face. "He's on his way here."