DOWNSTAIRS

Chuck, joined by Blair in such a way that his body makes a place for her at the table before he seems consciously aware of her presence, address first Lily and then both Basses with whatever they have uncovered. Bruce died falling off the Bass yacht, and the Sheikh was driving a Bass Industries-provided car when it burst into flame.

Blair: "Which is hilarious, because that's exactly how I lost our baby and then my mind."

SCHEME #2

Once Lily's taken herself upstairs for some serious Power Hour binge drinking, Dorota helpfully alerts Blair that it's time to multitask -- much like the new Ultrabook (TM) with Windows 8 (R), which uses Live Tiles (TM) to make sure the information you need most is always available -- so she betakes herself over to Serena, who has just been bitched out by Steven Spence and is now looking forward to a lifetime of getting bitched out by Dan Humphrey.

Blair: "Maybe you should consider his offer. The one he made before he called you a huge whore. Again."
Serena: "Blair, you know as well as I do that Dan's always been the one. Which is to say, variably."
Blair: "Actually, he's not. He's a huge twat. Always has been. But I tried to be cool because we've broken up every episode this season..."
Serena, verbatim: "I don't want to lose our friendship again either, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say any more."
Blair: "Okay but can I just say that he's a self-promoting hipster weasel who's thrown every one of his friends under the bus?"
Serena: "Well, yeah. Duh. And your kindness and protective nature is a balm to my soul. But I have to go talk to him if he's ever going to prove you completely correct."

UPSTAIRS

Bart: "Lily Bass, so help me God if you don't stop drinking in the dark and get the fuck back downstairs so nobody knows I'm rattled, I will beat you bloody."
Lily: "See, the thing is I need to feel safe if I'm going to help you hide your crimes. I need to feel like I'm on the inside with you, rather than expendable. I remember when you blew up that poor autistic girl's mom whose husband I fucked. Do you?"
Bart: "Of course I remember! That was the most boring storyline of all time, until he tried to blow up Blair in turn. Look, I don't have time to reminisce about my many murders. How about shaking you until your teeth rattle, would that help?"
Lily: "Help me drink faster, maybe."