OKAY NOW IT'S DINNERTIME. THE ONE BEFORE WAS JUST A FALSE ALARM I GUESS. OR MAYBE THEY WERE WAITING FOR STEVEN TO LEAVE.

Serena: "I just want to thank a fraction of you for joining us here, at our first Thanksgiving together as a couple. This time around. A toast! To many more years of love, happiness, and good friends!"

Georgina, the uninvited, stands up with the bizarrest grin. It is amazing. Everybody stares like she's going to give a scary speech, or do a magic spell, or say somebody is gay. But she just tells them to get out their phones.

SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN:
GOLDEN GIRL FALLS FROM GRACE
A FAUX LOVE STORY

Jesus Christ, even the title. Daniel Humphrey, you utter urethra. And this shit is choice, son:

"...Serena is nothing, she's a golden shell. Give her love, and she'll do anything you want..."

"...With daddy issues like these, it's not hard to push the right buttons. And once you do, the most powerful girl on the Upper East Side has no power at all..."

BEDROOM

Serena: "The fuck, Humphrey? Did you write this when you were in hate with me?"
Dan: "No! I wrote it yesterday! In bed with you! Because it is the truth!"
Serena: "Is this like... Are you Vanilla Sky-ing me right now? Because this is making me feel like I actually have no reality. What about the burgers after Cotillion? What about the Vespa? You popped a wheelie, Dan. What about the Vespa?"
Dan: "Girl, I even got Vanya to stop the elevator so I could fuck the stupid back into you."
Serena: "..."
Dan: "Surprised? Because here's the real shocker, I am in love with you. You are the one."

Serena: "Yeah, the one who's gonna kick your ass. How dare you? I let you into my house, into my whole world, my heart..."
Dan: "-- Your world. Exactly."
Serena: "What's this now?"
Dan: "Just because you feel humiliated doesn't mean I intended to do anything but humiliate you."
Serena: "So because you feel bad about yourself, and you once had to ride the bus to prep school, this psychotic shit is supposed to make you feel better? How's that working out?"
Dan: "I FEEL GREAT ACTUALLY."
Serena: "Dan, you've been poor for less than one fucking season of this entire show! How can you not see this is all in your head?"
Dan: "This is the kind of stuff Blair does to you ever week."
Serena: "How is that relevant?"