Bart: "Dear Nathaniel. Your ass is still mine. Love, Bart Bass."
Nate: "Fine, I'll see you in the morning so we can set up your son's murder. I'll call my cousin Tripp, he's real good at blowing up planes and train and automobiles."
Serena: "Dear Steven..."
Steven: "LOL can't talk reading this thing about how you're a giant whore. NAILED IT"
Blair: "Bass, I swear to God if you called me over here to jerk me around again..."
Chuck: "Blair, Lily's with us. I am full of Mommy Power. And not just any mommy, a Rhodes Woman. I feel like I'm actually glowing with takedown power right now."
Blair: "You are, I can see it. So what, you're just telling me maybe it's on again?"
Chuck: "No. I'm telling you I want you to come to war with me."
Blair: "Thought you'd never ask. Let me go get my racist warpath drum."
Just kidding, it's awesome. As twisty and silly as the path to the moment was, they moment paid off. They were never the kind to face toward each other, like Dan and Serena, or stand with backs to each other, like the NJBC. They have to go to war, side by side. That's how it happens: You take off your clothes, and eventually you can put on your armor. I just hope Chuck doesn't die or anything.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife and Homeland for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, his novel The Urges, and a novelette, "The Commonplace Book," appeared this fall on Tor.com.