"Sex in the limo. We've literally come full circle." Flexible of them, but they are young after all and it's still early in the day. Chuck and Blair come to a conclusion about their sex -- thanks to Serena not knowing what the hell she's talking about -- but they're so used to being in scary sync that they totally think they have the same plan but really it's opposite plans: Blair wants to go cold turkey and Chuck wants to do a Hotel New Hampshire and just fuck each other to the point of injury so they won't want to do it anymore. That's... Actually kind of great. Later it'll get worrisomely explicit but for now it's like a subtle nod to the way those two do everything. Anyway, Blair runs to Dorota and tells her to defend the castle against Chuck and calls this a Bassectomy, while Chuck tells his driver to go buy some cronk and condoms and some other information he sorely does not need to know.

S is like, "Hey I was just on my way to your office to tell you I can't come to your office!" Colin is like, "I hate it when you think with your brain and not your yodeling privates." Like, he says that. S is all, "Too late! I cannot make our wolf date in the Bahamas, for a prophecy has been revealed to me that we can only fuck if you quit your job a month early." This, remember with him being the replacement for the original teacher, for a class that was only ever supposed to be two months long. Math is no match for Dan Humphrey and his lies.

"We say we want a real relationship, but the truth is neither one of us is willing to make a sacrifice," Serena says, which is like so stupid I can't even deal with it. They were making a sacrifice. The sacrifice was no fucking. (And what sacrifice could Serena possibly... I mean, I guess she doesn't want to quit the class. But if Colin quits his job, no more class. So...?) Anyway then they break up. I mean, I wish I could tell you more facts about this, but somehow the actual point of that scene goes unspoken and in the middle of the conversation they have both broken up and acknowledged this fact, despite it not really coming up at all.