Serena: "Okay, Blair. I have time to hear about your constant problems now."
Blair: "They haven't changed. I mean, they have, but it took you so long to get back to me that they've come back around to the previous configuration. Also, I am knocked up."
Serena: "Whose baby is it!?"
Blair: "You... Obviously it is Louis's."
Serena, whispering: "Why did you wink when you said that?"
Blair: "He is everywhere."
Louis, jumping out randomly: "Blair! I forgives you! We are back in love some more!"
Chuck: "Lily, I got me a case of the Horribles. The things that underemployed literary agent said to me -- where she related the facts of the book that I'd already read -- really made me stop and think."
Lily: "Chuck, I'm just glad to see you. You're still the only person on this show that I actually like. Now let's turn that frown upside-down, or at least as close as that bizarre mug of yours can go."
Chuck: "I'm all alone and I don't like it. To be more specific, I don't want to be the unrepentant bad boy who no one cares lives or dies."
Lily: "It's just a book, Charles."
Chuck: "No, it isn't, though."
Lily: "People love you very deeply, if you will let them."
Chuck: "Blair is lost to me."
Lily: "I know. I'm sorry. But I was actually talking about me. And my son Daniel, who is obsessed with you in every possible way. And Nate, who is kind of like your Rufus in that you actually pay him to live with you and be your boy-wife. Honestly, it's a pretty sweet setup you've got going."
Chuck: "Is that everybody?"
Lily: "Well, we're the only people you haven't raped on this entire show."
Payne: "Hey! How was the party?"
Nate: "I cannot read, but I heard he conflated me with his adorable little gay brother, and I got skeeved."
Payne: "I will continue to isolate you from friends and family while drawing you and Ivy ever deeper into my web. Meet our new Other Person That Works Here."
Nate: "Charlie? But what kind of work can you do?"
Ivy: "I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, Snarchibald. I can do whatever it takes. Watch TV, act weird about, yell words like SCANDALOUS and CUCKOLD. Whatever it takes to prove myself to Mistress Payne."
Nate: "I feel like this is getting weird."
Payne: "It is going to get so weird, dude."