Ivy: "Sure, I'm game to voice a little exposition for later in the episode, no matter how odd or awkward or nonsensical it seems at this time. Hey Rufus, do you ever regret not getting back into music earlier?"
Rufus, verbatim, my emph.: "No, I wouldn't give up raising my kids for anything. I mean, I love music, but Dan and Jenny, they're my life."
Everybody is a time-travelling mental time-traveler today! I love it, first of all, but second of all, when the fuck did Rufus's career have anything to do with any of this? He literally kicked Jenny out of the house for succeeding where he failed, he's never not talked endlessly about music... Well, he did own that art gallery slash catshit coffee purveyor. He did do that for a while. But how nice that he thought to mention Jenny at all, I guess. "Dan and his opinion of me, they're my life!"
Blair and Chuck meet cute on their way to Dan's big meeting at PRADA MARFA, and she jokes about how he's a Drama Queen -- true -- but she's now Drama Princess -- officially -- and they are super sweet. When Chuck asks her how she is, she's touched that he even asked. What I'm saying is that this totally normal, human gesture that people do a hundred times a day, Chuck has so lowered the bar on his own behavior that it's a touching surprise that he can even think to ask. How is your pregnant cat uterus? Chock full of bastards, thanks for asking.
Everybody: "Why is everybody here?"
Everybody: "Um, because Nate texted us."
Rufus: "If he has another Russian baby so help me God..."
Chuck: "Don't worry, you're not going to be a grandfather. Unless Blair is pregnant with my child. But now, to take a turn for the squick, I will describe Dan's scathing satire being published as a sort of giving birth. Like Pallas Athene, it has sprung from his forehead fully formed -- and full of beans!"
Serena: "Okay, I'm pretty sure this is how every murder mystery begins. Also, most episodes of this show."
Everybody: "Serena, how is your job? Have you figured out the way in which it is pretend, yet?"
Serena: "Nooope! And there's the nicest, cutest boy there named Sam, who supports me in my career and in my choices. My job seems to consist of stalking celebrities and drinking endless potions."
Nate: "That is totally my job too! We are so real right now."