Chuck: "Why are you carrying around that tuxedo when you could be wearing it? That's like the best thing that ever happens on this entire show."
Nate: "Well, as a consequence of that, I generally have sex whenever I put this on. So I'm having it cleaned before Cotillion."
Chuck, verbatim: "I hope your third time coming out is finally a charm."
Nate: "Every episode of this show is a chance for that to happen, bro."
Serena comes in as Chuck is leaving, and they both think about what if they knew each other or ever had a scene together ever.
Nate: "More breakfast?"
Serena: "I don't have time to listen to your problems, Nate. I need to talk about Steven Spence."
Nate: "My girlfriend's dad, who is also your boyfriend and also fucked your mom?"
Serena: "Yeah, he's acting weird."
Nate: "We could narrow this down faster by listing what is not weird."
Nate, verbatim: "Could the 'weirdness' be that Steven hooked up with your mom in a dungeon when you were in grade school?"
Serena, ditto: "No. Once he actually remembered that that happened, it wasn't weird at all. He got over it really quickly."
In case that didn't prove the show is feeling winky tonight, stay with us:
Nate: "This is where my advice skills fall short. Most of my exes would just steal my phone or go through all my emails."
Serena: "Nice. Good, this is good."
Nate: "I was joking. But also truthing. But also it was not advice so much as a comment on how ridiculous my storylines always are."
Serena: "And yet."
RANDOM STREET CORNER (EAST)
Chuck sneaks up on Lily, making her scream. She's been avoiding him ever since that conversation she had with Bart where she told him she wouldn't avoid Chuck because he was her only child. Presumably, he then got her drunk and bought her something shiny, and now she's acting like Chuck is a stalker.
Chuck: "Or else I'm right about everything, and you're the one that could help me get proof..."
Lily: "Of what? This whole episode I'm going to give you ample opportunity to explain about the Sudanese oil deals, and you're just going to..."
Chuck: "Hotels! Faked deaths! Grumbly voice!"
Lily: "-- Like that. Later, Charles."