Lily: "Sorry about that time I fucked your boyfriend!"
Serena: "As if there's ever been a day where I don't have to say that to somebody on this show."
Lily: "Any idea why he called me for coffee today? I'd hate to have to apologize for it again..."
Serena: "I think he's going to propose marriage."
Lily: "That is some ass-backwards shit, my dear."
Serena: "What, Blair's been engaged like six times on this show."
Lily: "Yeah, but at least she pretended to go to college."
Serena: "Well, whatever. I never gave thought to marrying him until today, but it was like once I saw that ring, I just... Oh Mom, it was like my heart opened up full of butterflies and all the butterflies were going, Sure whatever."
Lily: "Oh, honey. I know that feeling well. All six of my marriages -- including the illegal one to Rufus that made me a bigamist and kept you from dating Dan occasionally, but not all the time -- were just like that. That overwhelming feeling of not giving a shit about what is going on in my life or where my decisions might lead."
Serena: "Mom, thank you. I feel so 'close' to you right now."
Lily: "It's just such a beautiful day, to see my favorite daughter finally just give in and let the pills take over. Today, you are a Rhodes Woman."
Sage: "Jessica, you old and rough. Also, why would they let some Columbia grad just randomly into Cotillion?"
Jessica: "I'm here to be hilarious, not make sense."
Blair: "Not even that, Blonde Minion. Once again, it's time to make Sage the Waldorf It Girl, despite there being literally dozens of other young women nearby at any time."
Sage: "Thing is, Steven's proposing to Serena tonight..."
Blair: "HA! I knew she'd lock that shit down."
Sage: "...And I want to team up with you to ruin her life. See, he's going to be doing it at Cotillion, which you are crazy enough to think is somehow about you, so it'll overshadow..."
Blair: "Do go on. But also make up multiple, even-more-likely to blow up in everybody's face plans, and then do not tell me what they are."
Sage: "I'm glad I have your trust, for no reason."