Gossip Girl
Monstrous Ball

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Dressing Up & Dressing Down
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

Serena's random stepmother story, every bit as weirdly old as Blair's two years of princessdom out of high school, chunders on unabated. We persist in understanding -- told but never shown, as it were -- that Sage Spence is an unholy admixture of both Serena and Blair; an It Girl who yet moves and shakes like a Powerful Woman, a blonde with brown hair. Superboy Prime for the CW set. Nate and Blair and Chuck continue to attempt to wrest their various companies away from their various parents, in an oddly mimeographic but also true-to-life fashion. Rufus and Ivy are now meth addicts living in DUMBO surrounded by personal effects, as Lily drinks her life away and the vile Bart Bass violates US trade embargos with relative abandon.

BUT COTILLIONS

Will come and Cotillions will go, as GG reminds us: Women will always be for sale at their age of their majority, no matter who's the Speaker of the House. And so it goes. Blair ushers into her drawing room a Rumspringing, callow lass; a Sarah both Plain and Tall, with neck up to here and sleeves down to there. Imagine a nightgown for the Oldest Living Confederate Widow, and then increase its modesty perforce: This is the new Waldorf.

Blair: "Dan! Stop eating my food and wearing my dresses, and tell me what you think of this unbelievably dowdy dress!"
Dan: "It's weird because that dress is not for whores, and yet you are a whore."
Blair: "What would I do without men's opinions? Humphrey is correct, as usual. Let us skank this bitch up, immediately. I have already revised this fashion line countless times this season, ignoring all rules and likelihoods of fashion. What is one more?"

Georgina: "...Diiiiid somebody say skank?"
Blair: "I suppose we all must have our muses. Take it away, upstairs."
Dan: "You are even more of a stalker now than when you were my stalker."
Georgina: "I begin to worry that you will start acting like a normal human being who has feelings, decency, or respect for his loved ones."
Dan: "It is like you have never seen this show that we are on."

UWS

Serena: "Are the pancakes okay? I do so enjoy cooking and laboring, in our pretend world where that would ever happen."
Steven: "I prefer waffles."
Serena: "That gives me a boner and I don't know why."
Steven: "I guess we are in love, little child-woman. I guess we've finally broken through to that level in our relationship where we shrug and admit, bone-dry, that we are each the best the other can do. And settle in for the Long Wait."

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Gossip Girl

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