Gossip Girl
Monstrous Ball

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Dressing Up & Dressing Down

Sage: "Well, I uninvited Serena from the Cotillion using my dad's phone, and then tricked him into taking one of my rings to Harry Winston and being photographed. Which, you have to admit, is pretty baroque."
Blair: "Well, their engagement could still happen, and I have to stop that for some reason that still doesn't hugely make sense."
Sage: "Don't worry, I'm on top of it. Jenny Style."

Lily: "Hey, Bart! Nice to see your nasty old ass at this Cotillion."
Bart: "I am very mad! You had a secret meeting with Ghost Of Chuck!"
Lily: "I don't recall any such meeting."
Bart: "Are you saying it was an illusion? Why, now that you mention it there was a strange blonde girl there lying through her teeth..."
Lily: "Twenty-something, 5'4", slim? Could pass as Serena's cousin? Crazy eyes and a voice like the Iron Giant? You magnificent fool. When are you going to learn that it's Ivy? That it's always Ivy?"
Chuck: "Last chance to ally with me against your rich, powerful husband. I swear to God you'll be Ruth Madoff by the end of this."
Lily: "That is the most fucked-up thing anybody has ever said to me. How dare you."

New Yorkers' hatred for Ruth Madoff, remember? It was the new "We can't wait until poor Jennifer Aniston commits suicide" thing for like a whole year, it was awesome.


Serena: "Steven! Oh sorry, random balding guy. I'm going to have to get better at this."
RBG: "No prob. My trophy child-bride does that all the time. I found her at Macy's once, she'd been holding this old dude's hand for like an hour and he totally thought she was his trophy child-bride. Oh, how we laughed. And then swapped."


Blair: "Serena! Inexplicable backflip!"
Serena: "I don't have time. I'm trying to save my sick sad marriage."
Blair: "No honey, that was an illusion I cooked up with Sage. Because we are both bitches."
Serena: "Is that your apology?"
Blair: "This is about Waldorf Designs, you jerk. Another gross old guy will come along in five minutes. Perspective."
Serena: "What is wrong with you?"
Blair: "Nothing! Here's that inexplicable backflip I was warning you about... There it is. Suddenly, I want you to marry Steven and I'm all of a sudden really sorry about doing fucking everything in my power to shut it down. Besties?"

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Gossip Girl




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