Gossip Girl
Monstrous Ball

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Dressing Up & Dressing Down

Dan: "Wow, that could not be less relevant to my life. Good job ruining my nonexistent relationship with Blair, though."
Georgina: "Whatever gets me those pages! You go get those, and I'm gonna roofie some random teen boys."

ACTUAL COTILLION

Sage: "This Cotillion fucking rocks. Just puttin' that out there."
Nate: "It might be my worst one ever. I miss Carter Baizen so much sometimes."

Yeah? I miss Carter Baizen so much all the time.

Georgina: "Remember when I offered Ivy a job and nothing ever came of it? Same deal with you, Sage. Now gimme back my sex tape phone."
Nate: "Wait, it was you that did that? Oh, we are so broken up just like everybody else on this show."
Sage, verbatim: "Nate! Nate, where are you going? We were in the middle of a dance!"

Haha, stupid Sage. Steven jumps on her out of nowhere, covering up her grownup dress and hustling her home like she's not older than everybody else at this entire thing.

OPERATION IVY

Rufus: "Thank God! All my other 'art gallery' dealers were dry. I'll be right over."
Ivy: "You came up with money out of nowhere? But how will I secretly control you?"
Rufus: "Remember Bex? You better, because the score just started playing a very romantic love-affair fragment that means she's going to suddenly be the person I was meant to be with all along."
Ivy: "Good thing I'm not actually into your old ass, or that would turn my crazy up so fast. At least it's happening organically."

Rufus: "I wonder who the mysterious person is that bought all that 'art gallery' off her. I'll call her and find out. Bex, my once and future lady love, I know what the word 'anonymous' means, but could you tell me where all of my 'art gallery' money is coming from suddenly?"
Bex: "No. But it is Ivy."
Rufus: "That bitch has been holding out on me? Think of all the 'art gallery' we could have been snorting and smoking and injecting between our toes and eyeballs."

Or whatever, I don't know how it works exactly but I know they are doing it.

COTILLION

Serena: "Hoo boy, that Sage. I tell ya."
Blair: "Can it, sister. I'm so sure our fragile peace could survive you fucking Dan just to mess with my head. Just literally for only that reason."
Serena: "I mean, the show seems to have somehow forgotten that I was in love with him the entire time, and you couldn't wait to get back to Chuck, but..."

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