Sage: "No pancakes for me! I'm getting fitted for my Cotillion dress today. I lost weight without even trying! Ah, youth."
Serena: "I haven't even dug into my bag of stepmother tricks yet, you little demon. I'll have you in the Pedowitz Center by end of day if you don't stop saying such vicious things. I'll embarrass you at Cotillion worse than Jenny Humphrey did us all."
Sage: "Bitch, you ain't coming to my Cotillion!"
Serena: "I'll admit, I wasn't sure you did that here, on the Upper West Side. I imagined some sort of arena sport. They'd toss down a crown and you'd fight for it, bare-fisted and bare-breasted, as tradition demands."
Sage: "No, it's just like normal Cotillion. Except with the execrable poor."
Serena: "Well, I hope you enjoy it. I sure do remember enjoying mine, because I am mentally ill and don't remember things."
Steven: "I was going to invite you to Cotillion. But then I did not. Does that make you paranoid? That's exactly the nonsense plot reason."
Sage, verbatim: "So much for being the only teenager on my father's arm tonight."
Seriously. For real. For real, Sage Spence. Why are these idiots always buying each other rings from Harry Winston and getting shot overseas and becoming child brides and getting fake-pregnant all the time? I am like twice as old as these bitches and I still don't believe I'm old enough to marry Chuck Bass. Or even Steven Spence.
Georgina: "I think that you, like Serena before you, have moved into this Brady Bunch-style bathroom/bedroom suite with Blair in order to force her to admit she loves you."
Dan: "That would seem apparent. Also, though, I am homeless for no reason at all."
Georgina: "Hand over your next chapter before I start trouble. Also, I speak five languages. It explains a lot of my more outlandish spy activities, somehow."
Dan: "So you speak five languages and you have a photographic memory? This show is so weird that we keep saying things like that about you and then they never come up again."
Georgina: "Give me your next chapter, or I will pilot a space shuttle to the space station. While performing a never-before-attempted neurological graft. On a member of my ska band."
Dorota: "Hey Dan, have you seen this engagement ring Blair's been wearing all season? I just thought I would show it to you for no reason at all."