Ivy: "Quick, come up with the most ludicrous plan you have ever come up with."
Chuck: "You sneak into PRADA and create the illusion that I have been hanging out with Lily and telling her about the Sudanese oil deals. Then Bart will punch a nearby window, resulting in an internet apocalypse."
Just kidding. There aren't enough Rufus/Lily fans in the world at this point to drum up that kind of shipper bullshit. But it's fun to reminisce. (And even more fun to remember to take your meds, ladies!)
Sage, with ring: "Please tell me this is an inappropriate gift for my debut and not an engagement ring for Serena."
Steven: "A gift? No, it is not."
Sage: "Dad, stop talking like Yoda."
(How is that talking like Yoda?)
Steven: "Fine. I was so nervous about marrying a little child that I forgot to ask her to your Cotillion. I guess now I will propose marriage at your Cotillion, ruining everything at once like I'm Blair Waldorf or something."
Sage: "So you're Lily's age and I'm Serena's age. How does the asking-the-father's-blessing thing work?"
Steven: "I plan on asking Lily about it sometime between now and your Cotillion."
Sage: "Well. Stay away from any dungeons, you disgusting old assholes."
Blonde Minion's name is Jessica. I know that we know that, but I also never know that. I hope she gets big things out of this. Look how well Penelope's doing, and Jessica's funnier than she is. Or at least goofier. Anyway, Blair is dressing her up in a Cotillion dress? For some reason. I think her plan is to sneak Jessica into Society tonight?
Jessica: "I should take Dan as my date. I don't hate myself enough yet, you see..."
Blair: "No. A real debutante, even on the UWS, would never take Dan Humphrey to Cotillion. Even though every season on this show somebody takes Dan Humphrey to Cotillion."
Dan: "Dominick Dunne was from Hartford, and he was considered high society..."
Blair: "Do you honestly fucking think none of us picked up on that reference? Isn't that like your entire storyline this year? And last year?"
Jessica: "I really liked the Chuck chapter. Remarkably gay."
Dan: "Yes, I am. Oh, I mean we. We are."
Blair: "Wait, you wrote a Chuck chapter? After I gave you a place to live? GTFO."