Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen, wandering Central Park in the wee hours in a gold lame raincoat looking utterly insane as the sun comes up over the bridge. Taking a page from Miss Georgina Sparks's Big Book Of Crazy -- or is that Daniel Humphrey's Big Book Of Lazy Stalking Gestures -- Serena has decided to spend the night roaming around town calling Dan's phone like a loon instead of going over to his house, as though by some trick of the cellular network she'll be able to overhear Svetlana giving him a blowjob. Although I guess with Georgie you can't just assume they go back to his place; she probably has a lair in the sewers like the big sexy Morlock that she is. Still, though: Serena, you could at least go wait for him there. Ask Vanessa for some tips on scaling the building, even.
"Here it comes in the morning / I'm just trying to forget / Keep it real, keep it simple / ...This city is endless / And I'm walking alone..." Anyway, she's like, "I just filled up your voicemail probably, so I guess now I have to make a decision, so I'm coming over." She hails a cab, running out into the early morning street on her teeter-totter shoes. I guess when you're eleven feet tall you don't necessarily feel like learning to walk in heels, but the occasion of your mother's fourth wedding -- in which Serena's clomping plays a major part -- is probably not the best opportunity. Especially dressed, as we'll see, as some kind of Cirque de Soleil Madam on Stilts. Plus, what about weddings one through three? Did she "wear" heels then too? Book Serena would totally go barefoot to her mother's wedding and all the society types would be like, "She smells like sandalwood, I must make her my muse."
"Sunlight creeps in between the curtains ..." Rufus and Lily wake up in bed together. BED! TOGETHER! Rufus is sporting some hot '90s Cantrellabe ink. He's also got about a billion rocker bracelets. With that puppy-dog look he gets in the morning, all he needs is some of Georgina's eyeshadow and he could turn into Avril Lavigne right before your eyes. Unless Georgie ran out of eyeshadow -- high probability there, because she's evil and has the eye makeup to prove it -- but they could still just scrape some off and slap it on him, and most of the poor makeupless children of this country, and her look wouldn't change in the slightest.
Rufus answers his phone quietly, trying not to wake Lily, and without even looking or moving or stirring in any way, she says quietly, "Who is it?" I loved that, like they're a team and she's like, "What now?" Now, though, is Leaky Hawk's manager calling to say that now that Luscious Jackson's reunion fell through but Kim Deal's still going strong, Leaky Hawk is going to open for the Breeders on tour. (I wish I was watching this with my sister, she'd be like, "Who is Luscious Jackson? Does he play the banjo?") Rufus hangs up with an OMG that is echoed by a quieter, more horrified OMG from Lily.