The waiter guy approaches Chuck at Bart and Lily's table and whispers in his ear. Chuck sighs heavily and heads over to Nate's table. "I need to talk to you," he says, and Nate ignores him basically, and when Vanessa asks if things are okay, Nate says yes but Chuck says no, and hustles him away. "Before the ceremony, I saw him with a guy doing a deal. It looked like drugs." Nate bitches at Chuck for spying and lying, and Chuck looks him dead in the eye: "I know you hate me. I was in love with Blair, and I'm sorry. We do not have time to argue about this." Nate searches his face, realizes he's telling the truth and freaking out both at once, makes a scary mean face at Chuck that is also a fairly hilarious impression of how Chuck's face actually looks, and they leave. Chuck follows him, and Vanessa just sits there like, "Okay, I'll just be sitting here feeling ill-at-ease and alone while you guys go do secret stuff and come back looking guilty." Get used to it, sister.

Nate chases down the Captain's towncar outside, but even when it stops his dad won't roll down the window or talk to him. He squeals for awhile, and the Captain finally gets out to talk to him. Again: in front of God and everybody, as he's making his escape from this country, he's going to have a dramatic chat in the middle of the street. These people. "I left you a note at home... It says I'm sorry." Nate starts talking relapse and getting help and whatever, but the Captain pulls out a passport from the drug envelope, instead of drugs. "You're skipping town?" The Captain assures him that he can be a better father from Dominica than he could be from jail, hee, and asks Nate to lay off the "trial" talk. "I'm guilty, Nate. I'm facing twenty-five years." I guess running off is better than suicide, but what's better than that is facing up and being a man, and what's better than that is not committing fraud in the first place. Maybe having the Captain for his father is actually the reason that Nate is so awesome, just like as a negative example.

Nate almost starts crying because of all that fake jogging talk about how suddenly the Captain was not a dickwad, and asks about Anne. "Who do you think's paying for the private plane?" I love how she manages him. You know this whole thing was her idea after a couple of glasses of scotch: "We'll do it during the wedding. I'll be in hiding in the Hamptons. Tell them... Tell them the shrubbery looks like circus animals, that's believable. (Hic!)" The Captain says he lied to Nate's face a billion times so that he wouldn't be an accessory, and orders him to "step up right now" and be "the man of the family." Nate points out that this has always been the case and turns to go, but the Captain touches his shoulder in anguish, so Nate lays his stupid ass out all, "That's for Mom." Punched his Dad out! Again! On the tarmac! At a wedding! Archibalds don't give a FUCK! Nate stalks back past the yearning, loving eyes of Chuck and heads somewhere to the left of him. Maybe he'll go beat up Dan.