So let’s see. Dan and Georgina hooked up, in a “didn’t sleep with her but might as well have” kinda way (and thanks to Dan for that classy description), while Rufus and Lily hooked up in the more typical “boned all night and woke up confused” kind of way. Bart summons Lily out of her boyfriend’s bed to discuss their wedding -- which is today -- and the fact that she needs to grow the eff up and stop dating rock stars. Lily agrees, with a few caveats.

Dan and Blair get Mean Girl on Georgina, luring her to Central Park and then springing her parents on her; she goes to a reformatory and the whole thing takes five minutes and none of it seems to involve Serena, whose storyline this was, as recently as last week. Maybe she was too busy getting crunk enough to think that her bridesmaid’s gown is something that should be worn by anyone not currently drinking a mint julep in the Antebellum days or running a whorehouse in the Wild West.

Rufus appears to Lily in the moments before the wedding to … whatever, they agree that they are in love but that Lily should marry Bart anyway. They apparently think they’re capable of making decisions suddenly. At the wedding itself, even though Dan magnanimously forgives Serena for all the horrible things she’s done -- such as calling him for 24 hours straight while he was fucking her worst enemy, then letting him get away with it -- Serena is still weirded out. Even Blair thinks S is the bad guy here. So then Dan forgives S, and S forgives Dan...and Dan dumps her anyway, for weird reasons, but then the wedding planner makes them dance together, so they’re back together, but then they’re not again. Or something. I mean, it’s Dan.

Chuck gives a great speech at the reception which causes Blair to fall in love with him; he also spots Nate’s Dad skipping town and gives Nate the opportunity to bust him one in the face, which also causes Nate to fall back in love with Chuck. It’s all very gay and romantic.

Then it’s a week later, and everything switches around again: Blair is heading to visit her pére in France, but will be taking a week-long sidetrip to Tuscany with the newly reformed and romantic Chuck. Serena is going to the Hamptons for the summer, Dan and Vanessa are hanging in Brooklyn, Jenny is interning through Parson’s for Eleanor Waldorf (!), Rufus is on the road with Lincoln Hawk backing up the Breeders, and everybody’s okay...

Except a well-meaning congratulations from Bart sends Chuck into a caddish tailspin and he ditches B at the airport so they can both hook up with people who are not only weirder-looking than everybody usually is on this show, but not even that cute. Dan and Vanessa seem to be edging towards true love, which is just about perfect, and then worst of all, Nate and Serena seem ready to actually start dating, rather than just hooking up in front of her brother and then splitting up so Serena can murder people when she’s not even wearing pants. A lot can happen in a week, no? Can’t wait to see what all will go wrong over the summer.

I’ll see you in the fall. You know I love you. XOXO.