Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Don't You Forget About Me

"A girl can dream," Serena muses, and Blair sarcastically segues, "Speaking of true love... Dan isn't here?" Serena says he's coming, and B asks if "all is forgiven," but she's talking about S's mental breakdown the last two episodes, and not the Georgina Surprise we're all pretending didn't happen, so S is like, "I'm working on it." But B's like, "Working on what? You are the one that lied and freaked out," and S doesn't want to talk about the G factor because she's still in creepy-scary denial mode so she's like, "Yes, right, I'm a whore, I forgot. That's what I'm working on: making him forgive me for not telling him about that guy I murdered. Thanks for the reminder."

The Captain meets a shady individual directly across the street from a huge society wedding where the entire Upper East Side right this second is, standing in plain sight. (Asher's like, "Just don't kiss him, that shit will blow up on you so fast.") The Captain bitches about how their totally obvious shady dealings were supposed to be during the reception and whatever, they do the deal, Chuck of course sees the entire thing and tells one of the waiters or ushers to watch Mr. Archibald carefully in case he tries to jump bail or do a bunch of drugs or prostitute his son or commit fraud or perjury or suicide on Bart and Lily's special day.

Lily, in her ravishing white wedding gown, is downing white wine by the flute and trying to get that bracelet on her wrist, so of course this summons Rufus out of nowhere and he's like, "Need a hand with that?"

Lily takes the commercial break to compose herself and then playfully threatens to have him thrown out. Or at least would like the option to consider, given how much security details cost. He attaches her bracelet and asks if she wants him to leave, and she's all, "I didn't say that." He says that he is prepared, at the tiniest sign from her, to run down there and call off the wedding and tell Bart and the guests to go home. She is charmed. He is being super charming, even though he can't see that it's exactly this childish romantic stuff that makes him unacceptable as a partner: "I didn't say that either." He swears they can figure it out, and she's like, twenty years of history to hash out, with my wedding happening downstairs in five? Come on. "Look, we've already had the morning after today, what's gonna happen tomorrow morning?" Rufus turns back into a pumpkin and gets angsty and selfish again, obviously. You've met rock stars before. You've met Rufus before, for Pete's sake.

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Gossip Girl

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