Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Don't You Forget About Me

Lily jumps out of bed and looks out the curtains. "It's day. As in wedding day, as in, uh... My. Wedding day." Rufus is all, "Why can't I have nice things?" and Lily congratulates him on his Breeders coup, and then awkwardly thanks him for the sex last night. Rufus agrees that it was amazing, and then her phone starts buzzing. Rufus makes a hilarious Avril face, all, "It's Bart." Which of course Lily was assuming.

"Do you want me to answer it?" Lily corrects him: "Do you want me to kill you?" And he makes another hilarious sad CUL8R Boi face, and she sighs and answers it herself because a petulant Rufus is an engaging Rufus, and also the only kind of Rufus. "Hello? No, I know. Um... Well, that's because we're not supposed to see each other on the day of the wedding! ...Okay, that's fine. I'll meet you in an hour." She doesn't really want to go, awesomely: "I don't know what Bart wants, but I have to go, um, talk to him." Rufus hints around about whether there's anything in particular she wants to talk to him about, such as for example their total forever magic rainbow love, and she ignores him. "I'm sure I'll think of something." She looks over and he is still making that face and she's like, "I totally forgot this part in the morning when you girl out on me."

Blair and Chuck wake up in bed together. BED! TOGETHER! But not like that. She is grinning sweetly when she wakes, with his arm across her back; they're both plunked face down on the bed sideways, fully clothed. Ugh. She immediately throws herself vertically into the air like The Matrix, managing to somehow rearrange her outfit, smack the hell out of him, scream a little bit, and land on the other side of the room like a cat that's just been alerted to the presence of a Roomba: "Who? What? When? Where? Why?"

Chuck sits up, rubbing his arm, and reminds her that they were up late plotting chaste yet deliciously evil plots against Georgina, and fell asleep. Blair remembers how, at that time, he was on the floor. Aww, I love that Blair tuckered herself out so bad worrying about Serena that she didn't even have time to change into her sexy nightie and put on a face mask and moisturize, just fell asleep at a weird angle on her face like some kind of teenager or something. Chuck explains that he moved to the bed because he didn't want to hurt his back, and Blair asks why he worries about that. "It's not like you ever do anything athletic." Never has such an obvious, cheesy straight-man line been uttered with such earnest conviction. Chuck immediately walks through the door she just opened, and she amends: "Fine. Nothing that requires you removing your scarf." Heh. He whines that it was like one time he kept the scarf on, and only because it was chilly. "Enough about the past. Before you landed in my bed, we actually landed on a good idea."

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Gossip Girl

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