Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Don't You Forget About Me

Georgina's all, "Oh, Serena, Dan was talking such mad shit about you that I thought you guys were broken up" and Serena's all, "Like over?" And Dan's like, "I refuse to commit to anything or speak out loud because I'm totally the bad guy here but if I play it cool I can -- as always -- find a way to make this your fault." Georgina offers to leave and Serena's like, "So you just totally got what you wanted, right?" Dan has the balls to defend her to Serena, all, "This isn't Sarah's fault!" And Serena points out that no, it's not Sarah's fault, you idiot, it's Georgina's, because Sarah is fictional and Georgina is all too real. Dan finds a way to be snotty about this. G whines about how she never wanted to break them up and Dan is totally understanding and sweet to her because, of course, the only way he can make this Serena's fault is if he refuses to admit that he or Georgina did anything wrong, so he starts building that case here, all, "Oh, did mean old Serena yell at you?"

And Georgina expertly -- of course -- plays along: "No it's not [okay], because now she's upset," like Serena's being unstable right now, and Serena finally just starts taking off her earrings to fuck the bitch up, so Dan jumps in between them. G flashes some "scared" and "innocent" and "vulnerable" Sarah eyes at them, and leaves, and Serena sits Dan down for a much-needed talk about what G is all about.

Later, Serena wraps up. "So my mom took me to see his parents, and after talking to them, all I wanted was to come and find you, and tell you everything." But I couldn't, because you were too busy selling out your father and best friend in order to play into G's whole "poor me" story that even a child could see through. He graciously and magnanimously announces that he does not hate Serena, although to be fair, she asks for it this time, and Serena explains -- for what, the eleventh time? -- that she would have told him the truth except that he is judgmental about normal things like drinking and sex, so of course you cannot tell him when you are a murderer -- and he's like, "Yeah, but that's on you, kind of."

"It's, uh, a lot. And... I get it. I get it. I mean, 'Hey, I think I killed someone, and I'm being blackmailed by a crazy girl pretending to be someone else' doesn't quite ... roll off the tongue." Right, so now the only asshole in the room is actually ... let's see ... you, cheater. Serena's all, "My self-image and self-respect are so tied up with your bullshit and I'm so like my mother in that I cannot be alone for even a moment, so can we please fix this? Will you please forgive me for not giving you the opportunity to badger me about my murder, and then for forcing you to have sex with another girl?"

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Gossip Girl

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