Chuck's hanging around some social see and be seen swanky place or another when Catherine enters. She approaches him -- "Charles Bass?" -- and he stands, impressed. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone so young ... or so beautiful." She tells him that just because she didn't give birth to Marcus, it doesn't mean she's less interested in his well-being or in indulging her own pedophiliac tendencies, so WTF does Charles want because she doesn't usually have meetings with "children." Just sex with them. He comes around the table and holds her chair for her, being a billion times sexier/smarmier than usual, and as GG sums up the scene with typical cutesy witticisms ("Lordy lordy, look who's 40... Or at least a well-preserved 38. We knew Chuck had a thing for older women, but is this risky business or strictly business?"), Chuck prances back to his seat and perches there like Tinkerbell, attempting to smolder at the Duchess, but apparently picturing her as Nate. Which goes to a weird, weird place super fast if you think about it.

We return from commercial with some aerial shots of the city, heading into the doldrums of Blair's Party From Hell. There's a flautist and harpist performing a perfectly fine rendition of something classical, but the people at the party are all bored and awkward and dead inside and it's just perfect. Serena's dress is awesome, that same toga style in a lovely deep violet batik print or something. The song ends, to anemic applause, and even Blair has trouble manufacturing excitement: "Wasn't that wonderful. Thank you, Ingrid and Beatrice." The person to whom she was speaking corrects her ("I'm Ingrid. She's Beatrice.") and Blair gives the most hilariously bitchy line reading of the episode: "That's what I said." She hustles Marcus off with a dead-eyed, fake shimmering "I just love Mozart," but she's so intense and preoccupied she doesn't even hear him correcting her.

Serena quietly asks at B's elbow WTF these weirdos are doing there, and gives a subtly funny OMG LOL at B's non-explanation that Dorota invited them. Dan enters and S tries to insert herself into the coked-up welcome brigade B perpetrates on his unsuspecting ass, but gets caught in the middle of servant traffic so she can't save him. Marcus tries to introduce Dan to S and they get all sexy and starry-eyed about how they've -- ahem -- met. B interrupts to explain to Marcus that Dan's a total Chelsea fan. Serena's new (and awesome) carefree nature once again thrusts itself to the forefront, all, "Me too! I just love the Balenciaga store LOL." Blair makes a tiny ouch face at the overarching awkwardness of this entire phase of her life and drinks her drink to the drinky-drunk dregs. Marcus offers to refresh her drink and she smacks her lips at the chaos.