Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Discreet Charming Of The Bourgeoisie
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

"As summer comes to an end, I'd like to share a few of the things I've learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl's Guide To Summer, Tip #1: Don't fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation: the only thing harder than making up is waking up." Serena wakes up on Dan's chest on the beach. Both are still dressed in their excellent outfits from the White Party. She smiles at his face on waking -- I particularly like how his trap is shut when he sleeps, just like a quiet and nonjudgmental angel -- and then thinks a bit harder. She sits up in her bra, and he soon wakes and starts kissing her. She puts on her grandfather's jacket from the '70s and gets weird. He immediately asks if she's "overwhelmed," presumably by the amazingness of their romance and the romantic-ness of having sand in your clothes with the sun coming up, and she's like, "Yes, as in confused." He agrees that last night was mindblowingly awesome, and kisses her again. She's like, "Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?" No, never. He admits that he's confused, so she tries to explain. But just like every other time they fake break up, it doesn't make a shitload of sense, so the burden of proof is once again on the breaker-upper.

"Well, it was so romantic what you did, showing up here," because I know when you travel all the way from the city to call me a whore and act like a total hypocrite that we are truly in love, "And it feels so right to be together..." But, Dan realizes, she's having second thoughts. In order to have second thoughts about a subject, isn't it first necessary to have ... thoughts? "I just think that we should think... Before we get back together, right?" Dan is noncommittal w/r/t this plan of action, because if Serena ever thinks about his behavior for more than one solid minute, she will shoot him in the head. "I thought this meant we were back together," he protests, and he's not wrong, because in fact they are back together, and no amount of running around and farcical hilarity is going to change that. It's one of those situations where what happens is really funny and awesome, but if you think hard about what's really going on, it makes no sense at all. She's asking for "time to think" so that we can witness their ludicrous attempts to keep their hands off each other, and because it's fun and Serena is awesome to watch, that's enough. But if you think about it, that's the ... only reason any of this has happened. This scene is a down payment on a subprime mortgage that buys the storyline in this episode.

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Gossip Girl




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