Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Love In The Time Of College Applications
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Dean Berube, in classic Enry Iggins garb, comes around the couch on Blair, in full Eliza Doolittle garb, telling her to try again. "The Rhine ... in Spine... Stays mainly in the... pline?" He sighs, and she swears she's 4.0 inside, no matter how silly her flower-selling Mary Poppins outfit looks. Of course, the second she starts to get it, Serena enters, trilling her R's deliriously and dressed like she's going to the races. ("...She come to so sudden she bit the bowl right off the spoon! Now what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it! And what I say is: them as pinched it, done her in." Best speech ever.) "The rrrrrrain in Spain stays mainly in the plain," Serena says, eyes closed, softly breathing with one hand in the air. Looking a total ass, awesomely; Enry Iggins shouts, "By George, I think she's got it!" And when B hopes, as she so often does, that he's talking about her, he clarifies: "No. She does." The Dean kisses Serena's hand, she laughs insanely, and B screeches all Cockney, waking herself up.

Blair rolls around in bed, pulling off her sleepmask and trying to identify and dismiss her distressing dream. "Rise and shine, early birds! Gossip Girl here. We all have dreams: some good, some bad, some fun and Freudian!" Dorota enters with a tray and wishes her a good morning. "...And some are the dreams we've had our whole lives." Blair excitedly narrates her life to faithful Dorota: "Can you believe that in just three short hours, I'll be stepping through the gates of Yale?" Dorota remembers how Blair slept in Harold's old Yale sweatshirt every night, until it fell apart. B swears she'll get a new one, right after the Dean of Admissions' private reception. "Most candidates think it's an urban legend, but Daddy was invited when he visited."

Dorota urges her to eat the breakfast Eleanor ordered B eat before leaving for work. "Some kombucha, Miss Blair?" Gross. I would rather drink grapefruit juice than be confronted with kombucha that early in the morning. It smells like a foot! Like a foot threw up! Mother Nature's foot sweat! Blair's skin is so lovely: "Since the Dean handpicks the guests right after their interviews, I'm a shoo-in. If there's one thing I know, it's that I give good interview. I could make Larry King cry," she says, popping like one raisin in her mouth. Dorota is overcome by affection unbefitting her position, and sits down on the bed to tell Blair how proud she is. Blair powers through this awkward moment and says she's ready to be among her people, surrounded by Yalies more like her and less like... Dorota shows her the paper: Page Six, all about Serena Serena Serena again. "...Her."

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Gossip Girl

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